best of luck in your Journey and babydust!!!!
Ines
Member for about 1 year
Ines' Journey updated
February 24, 2008
We started dating five years ago. Never used any kind of protection for religious and "romantic" reasons. We figured that if I became pregnant, we'd get married. I had erratic, long cycles and was administered progesterone to lengthen them.
December 2005: we are engaged and decide to observe my cycles. My husband left that year a few times for his job. My cycles are around 37 days long without progesterone. I have been diagnosed PCOS which explained rapid weight gain, and ovary pain.
May 2006: after our civilian wedding, we are more "active". This means using ovulation predictor kits....
September 2006: we are married before God and start wondering why have we not been pregnant yet? All my OPKs are negative...
February 14th, 2007: at last I have a positive OPK. Cycle day 25.
March 2nd, 2007: I am confirmed pregnant. We are ecstatic. My husband knows he cannot count on me to help him carry furniture around - we are moving two weeks later just before his professional mission.
March 26th: I get up and notice dark brown stains. My breasts are not swollen anymore, I know something's wrong. I can't stop crying. My husband "James" is not here; my brother is, but he's just schocked. An ambulance transfers me to the nearest military hospital, which doesn't have any maternity equipment.
March 26th: the hospital sees dark blood clots after examination. My HCG level is measured. I look at the number and notice that it's at least three times less than before. The doctor decides decides to send me back home as my regular Ob/Gyn told them she wasn't able to see me that day (!).
I go home with my brother by bus, with contractions.
Fortunately, one of my firiend's children's godmother is the secretary of an ob/gyn. This doctor is ready to see me in half an hour. As she performs the necesssary ultrasounds, I see my 1.2 cm egg. She tells me I will have it out in the next 24 hours as it's a blighted ovum. I can't stop crying; she asks me if I need any medication to calm me down, but I don't want to. I just want to go home, lay down, and spend my last hours with my baby. I call the social services who can reach my husband by message. They will let his superior know; and it's his superior's decision to tell him or not. The head of the family counselling department calls me back and tells me James is coming back just for a few hours Tuesday - the next morning- before leaving until Saturday. Would I like my husband to stay with me that week? I chose not to as I didn't want him to be penalized by missing a afew days at work. In the afternoon, my contractions get more and more important. I start losing lots of blood.
March 27th: I had three hours of sleep due to the contractions. I can't wait for my husband to call me. Has he already been notified? At around 8.30 the egg is out and my contractions are toning down. James calls me at that moment and tells me he'll be home in 15 minutes for half an hour. He is in tears too but as any man, he refrains his feelings and tells me " we'll have another try, won't we?". I just respond by saying I saw the egg and had to throw in the garbage. As he leaves, I keep on crying. My brother makes me grilled cheese - my favourite- for lunch. I stay in bed the whole day.
I call my father in the evening due to the time difference. As he didn't know I was pregnant, he's in shock. And that's when he tells me that he and Mother lost a baby before getting pregnant with me. My mother miscarried of a boy at 6 months. I finally understand why she always complained about wishing to have a boy; and when she finally give birth to my brother , I felt like the fifth wheel. Papà tries to be reassuring. I know it's difficult for him too as he wants to be a grand-dad so much.
The next few days, I just linger around the house. I put in a box all HPTs, OPKs, ultrasounds and HCG levels regarding this pregnancy. I change my sheets and sleep on the couch. Since James is coming back for the weekend, I plan a getaway because I just can't sleep in our bed anymore. James comes back. We stop at Ikea before heading to our retreat. Going through the kids' furniture section is so painful. The weekend is nice, in spite of the weather. I eat sushi and drink wine as I wasn't allowed to have any before. I try not to cry in front of James but I can't. He just stays there, helpless. Blood keeps on flowing.
May 6th: I get my first AF.
June 3rd- August 21st: I am prescribed progesterone for these three cycles so as to shorten my luteal phase. I have to take my BBT in order to see if I ovulate (but I don't) In fact, I get strong side effects and 21-day cycles.
September - November: now it's Clomid either days 2-6 or 3-7 depending on AF. I keep on taking my BBT and get HCG shots to trigger ovulation. I finally have a good-looking chart the last third cycle.
December 2007 : I'm on a break. No BBT, no Clomid. At the same time we have postcoital tests done (between Xmas and the New Year, how lovely !), and that's how we learn about a second problem: my cervical mucus attacks his sperm just before ovulation. The second test is a bit better (they found ONE living sperm). The next day as I show the results to the ob/gyn I get an Hcg shot.
January 22nd, 2008: I am re-prescribed Clomid days 3-7 + Estrogen days 8-13 for my mucus. As the mucus does not improve much, I decide to get a second opinion, but this time at a fertility clinic. This new doc is a quiet man but seems to know what he's talking about. I need to take a postcoital test the next morning and just after get an HcG shot (follicle measures 25 mm - more than an inch). Fortunately, James in on holiday so manage to baby dance the next days.
Today I'm on day 34 of this cycle, waiting for AF to show up. With Clomid I usually get 32-day cyles. I had never had such PMS before. Just standing makes my breasts tender. I get lower abdoiminal tingles. BBT is still 36.9 °C / 98.4 F. This month is quite difficult as I got pregnant a year ago. I'll do an HPT tomorrow as stores are closed in France on Sundays (been in Europe for a few years but still find it incredible).
Wait and see...
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1861f0
December 2005: we are engaged and decide to observe my cycles. My husband left that year a few times for his job. My cycles are around 37 days long without progesterone. I have been diagnosed PCOS which explained rapid weight gain, and ovary pain.
May 2006: after our civilian wedding, we are more "active". This means using ovulation predictor kits....
September 2006: we are married before God and start wondering why have we not been pregnant yet? All my OPKs are negative...
February 14th, 2007: at last I have a positive OPK. Cycle day 25.
March 2nd, 2007: I am confirmed pregnant. We are ecstatic. My husband knows he cannot count on me to help him carry furniture around - we are moving two weeks later just before his professional mission.
March 26th: I get up and notice dark brown stains. My breasts are not swollen anymore, I know something's wrong. I can't stop crying. My husband "James" is not here; my brother is, but he's just schocked. An ambulance transfers me to the nearest military hospital, which doesn't have any maternity equipment.
March 26th: the hospital sees dark blood clots after examination. My HCG level is measured. I look at the number and notice that it's at least three times less than before. The doctor decides decides to send me back home as my regular Ob/Gyn told them she wasn't able to see me that day (!).
I go home with my brother by bus, with contractions.
Fortunately, one of my firiend's children's godmother is the secretary of an ob/gyn. This doctor is ready to see me in half an hour. As she performs the necesssary ultrasounds, I see my 1.2 cm egg. She tells me I will have it out in the next 24 hours as it's a blighted ovum. I can't stop crying; she asks me if I need any medication to calm me down, but I don't want to. I just want to go home, lay down, and spend my last hours with my baby. I call the social services who can reach my husband by message. They will let his superior know; and it's his superior's decision to tell him or not. The head of the family counselling department calls me back and tells me James is coming back just for a few hours Tuesday - the next morning- before leaving until Saturday. Would I like my husband to stay with me that week? I chose not to as I didn't want him to be penalized by missing a afew days at work. In the afternoon, my contractions get more and more important. I start losing lots of blood.
March 27th: I had three hours of sleep due to the contractions. I can't wait for my husband to call me. Has he already been notified? At around 8.30 the egg is out and my contractions are toning down. James calls me at that moment and tells me he'll be home in 15 minutes for half an hour. He is in tears too but as any man, he refrains his feelings and tells me " we'll have another try, won't we?". I just respond by saying I saw the egg and had to throw in the garbage. As he leaves, I keep on crying. My brother makes me grilled cheese - my favourite- for lunch. I stay in bed the whole day.
I call my father in the evening due to the time difference. As he didn't know I was pregnant, he's in shock. And that's when he tells me that he and Mother lost a baby before getting pregnant with me. My mother miscarried of a boy at 6 months. I finally understand why she always complained about wishing to have a boy; and when she finally give birth to my brother , I felt like the fifth wheel. Papà tries to be reassuring. I know it's difficult for him too as he wants to be a grand-dad so much.
The next few days, I just linger around the house. I put in a box all HPTs, OPKs, ultrasounds and HCG levels regarding this pregnancy. I change my sheets and sleep on the couch. Since James is coming back for the weekend, I plan a getaway because I just can't sleep in our bed anymore. James comes back. We stop at Ikea before heading to our retreat. Going through the kids' furniture section is so painful. The weekend is nice, in spite of the weather. I eat sushi and drink wine as I wasn't allowed to have any before. I try not to cry in front of James but I can't. He just stays there, helpless. Blood keeps on flowing.
May 6th: I get my first AF.
June 3rd- August 21st: I am prescribed progesterone for these three cycles so as to shorten my luteal phase. I have to take my BBT in order to see if I ovulate (but I don't) In fact, I get strong side effects and 21-day cycles.
September - November: now it's Clomid either days 2-6 or 3-7 depending on AF. I keep on taking my BBT and get HCG shots to trigger ovulation. I finally have a good-looking chart the last third cycle.
December 2007 : I'm on a break. No BBT, no Clomid. At the same time we have postcoital tests done (between Xmas and the New Year, how lovely !), and that's how we learn about a second problem: my cervical mucus attacks his sperm just before ovulation. The second test is a bit better (they found ONE living sperm). The next day as I show the results to the ob/gyn I get an Hcg shot.
January 22nd, 2008: I am re-prescribed Clomid days 3-7 + Estrogen days 8-13 for my mucus. As the mucus does not improve much, I decide to get a second opinion, but this time at a fertility clinic. This new doc is a quiet man but seems to know what he's talking about. I need to take a postcoital test the next morning and just after get an HcG shot (follicle measures 25 mm - more than an inch). Fortunately, James in on holiday so manage to baby dance the next days.
Today I'm on day 34 of this cycle, waiting for AF to show up. With Clomid I usually get 32-day cyles. I had never had such PMS before. Just standing makes my breasts tender. I get lower abdoiminal tingles. BBT is still 36.9 °C / 98.4 F. This month is quite difficult as I got pregnant a year ago. I'll do an HPT tomorrow as stores are closed in France on Sundays (been in Europe for a few years but still find it incredible).
Wait and see...
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1861f0
February 24, 2008
Tomorrow I'll see my ob/gyn to see if I go on with Clomid or go through IUI. DH will also get his sperm motility results.