Hoping4

Hi - here is my story.

I am 34 years old, happily married and have 3 gorgeous kids - 1 girl (age 11) and 2 boys (age 9 and 5). To the outsider I guess it looks as if my journey to motherhood was smooth. Not quite..

My dh and I got prego quite out of the blue the 1st time around. I was still at university at the time so we where young but really happy to have the baby. I had no symptoms of prego at all (other than no af) so I was wondering if they would even find a baby at the ultrasound! So we arrived for out 5 month scan and immediately saw his tiny hand waving around. Sadly this was followed by the immediate look of worry that passed over the tech face. She left the room and got the consultant. Unfortunately we found that out little son had a very rare condition that meant he could not live outside the womb. (its called urethral valve syndrome). He was born a week later and we waited to see 'why' this had happened to us. It was soooo sad. Several weeks later we where told that its was just 'bad luck' and we decided to try again.

TTC - this was the start of a nightmare. Around 4 months later I had a chemical prego, I would never have known if I hadn't done a hpt as af was only 3 days late.

So again we put this behind us and kept on TTC. No luck and a year past by. Then 2 years. My GP said 'don't worry' it will happen.

Then finally a bfp! But at 7 weeks I started spotting and a scan diagnosed a blighted ovum.

We where so devastated. Never did we imigine that we would loose our adored son and then not be able to have another baby.

So again, we where told everything with us was fine and all of this was 'just the way the cookie crumbles'.

All our chromosone tests, blood tests etc etc all normal.

So this time off to a fertility clinic at our local hospital. The consultant was really kind and said if not prego within next 3 months then onto a lapo.

Just 2 weeks later a BFP!! this time I could not stop being sick it was awful. But this time we struck gold and had a gorgeous bay girl!

Quite by surpsrise just 12 months later and I was prego again and this was the gift of our son.

Moving on another 3 years and we tried again, this time straight away a BFP. Again i was so sick and all looked good at scan. Then at 14 weeks spotting and sadly another miscarriage. It was very painful physically but mentally by this stage i was almost expecting my luck to run out.

4 weeks after the m/c i started feeling very sick and ill and the hospital said I likely had retained placenta from the m/c and to come in get a scan and likely have a d @ c. So with dh and kids in car I went up to get scan. To my complete shock there was another heart beat. So we where off again. This was rather strange as the 1st m/c felt like it hadn't really happened as I was straight into the next. This resulted in the birth of another beautiful healthy son.

You may be now thinking - so okay you gave up right.....

Not quite. As I headed toward my mid 30's I thought - wow it could be a case of my last chance. I then joined these superb boards and found myself prego again.

I am now just 7 weeks gone, so very early days and I hold my breath and cross my fingers that it works out this time round.

Any way I hope that this story gives hope to those of you who are struggling ttc and who have suffered m/c's. I too have been there and have still managed to have 3 successful prego's.

I have deliberately not gone into how painful all the losses where, but I can share if any one wishes.

***baby dust to you all***