Amber M

I've been with my fiancee' for 2 years and we've been trying for over a year (feels a lot longer) to conceive. I figured it was me because he already has 3 kids and I have none. The first year was the roughest because whenever my period would come on (right on schedule), I would cry the entire 5 days. Then one month when my period was 19 days late, I got a small glimpse of hope. I stopped crying & started praying. A few more periods came late & I would take a hpt & it would be negative. I was heartbroken at the fact that I would always be an aunt & a stepmother & never a mother. I would feel devastated, but I wouldn't let it keep me down like I used to because thoughts of becoming a mother and not ever becoming a mother conqured my world & ruled my thoughts. I was always reading articles on conception & pregnancy & I saw something about folic acid, so I started taking it late June 2007. After not having a period for 2 months (April & May 2007) & a negative hpt, I to see an ob/gyn in July. She advised me to first use ovulation kits for 3 months & if I still wasn't preg they would do some kind of test to see if my tubes were blocked or something. She also wrote a prescription for my fiancee' to have his sperm levels tested. Well, after using the ovulation kits for July & August, I finally had a missed period in September. I took 3 hpt's & they we're all positive:) I was ecstatic. I had tears in my eyes when I burst out the bathroom to show my fiancee'! My pregnancy was confirmed on September 26th. I was 6 weeks pregnant! But just as soon as my prayers were answered, my world crumbled 4 days later:( On October 1, I miscarried:( On the 30th of Sept I started spotting. I was worried but I've heard how some women will spot during their 1st trimester, but as a precaution I said if was still doing it the next day I would go to the hospital to make sure everything was okay. Plus earlier that day, while using the bathroom, I felt a sharp & quick "pop" on my right side where i guess my ovary would be. Well, I awoke the next morning no longer spotting, but bleeding. Before I could shower to go to the hospital, I was using the bathroom when I felt "something" fall out. It looked like a pink, semi-deflated ballon or a chewed piece of gum. I knew it was my baby. Needless to say, I miscarried and I'm back trying hard. I bled from Oct 1 to Oct 8th. Then again on Oct 17th- 22nd. I haven't had a period since & I've gotten some postive hpt's (fingers crossed:) I have an app on the 30th of Nov to have my hcg levels checked, so I'm contantly praying! So here I am now. I feel so grateful to know that there are other women who have felt my pain & can relate to how I feel without being so descriptive. For a long time I felt alone,now I don't & I thank each & every one of you guys!!