Our Story of Trying to Find Answers While TTC

Thu, 07 May 2009 05:58:37 -0500

So welcome to my story. I am 37 years old and have been ttc for like a year and a half. We have a 2 almost 3 yr old DD. Our DS passed away in 2004 at the age of 3.

He was tentitavly diagnosed with transient anemia shortly after his 3rd b-day. = Do nothing except follow up blood tests to make sure levels rise over the next few months. Which they were doing slowly. About a month later we rushed to the E.R. one night when he was not himself. Not feeling well moving to almost listless.(REd blood cell count was taken and very low) They ended up flying him to a children's hospital. He was diagnosed with pre-b ALL(a type of leukemia). Apparently the "best kind" if you're gonnna get it. Well, after a week in hospital we went home with a treatment plan and orders to return once a week for a med we couldn't do at home. After 1 week he was already in remission and apparently they couldn't have hoped for a better response. Only 2 days later he got a fever in the a.m. A phone call yeilded the news that this could be the meds finally caching up with him. Well, fever went up and throwing up started so we ended up driving back to the hospital.(fri. night) Apparently he had gotten an infection. It was later determined to be anerobic and derived from the hospital. He died of septic shock Mon. night after trying everything the dr.s could come up with to battle the infection. It just couldn't be contrlled. We definetely felt like a car crash. It was all so fast. Diagnosed 1 month after BW and died a little over 2 weeks later. He was never sick before this either. Not even an ear ache. Perfectly healthy playful little boy. The blood test was originally taken as part of 3yr check up. In the beginning this is part of the reason why after BW didn't show anything but low red blood cell count(& trust me they checked for everything!) they observed him play all day and he had no easy bruising or fatigue so they just sent us home to have follow up BW. We miss him terribly, but were graced with DD in 2006. She definitely brought joy back to our lives. It was tough to feel like a mom with no one to mother.

So after trying for a year to get her another sibling I had my regular check-up and discussed the issue. I was cleared of anything obvious and told to return for a day 21 progesterone test the next month. This was to make sure I ovulated. Was still letting DD breast feed at night. Also given a Cup for DH to deposit a sperm analysis at our convenience. They decided to have me do clomid 1 month to see if I needed a "kick-start". I totally O'd. #s were 25.7 which they say are very good.

Well, Dh ended up admitting a little something at this point. He was having almost no ejaculate. (should have picked up on him hiding something since he hadn't requested a certain something in some time & I admittedly had let it go without much thought) I'll skip over the anger/ hurt feelings of this coming to light so long after starting the trying process. I can see where it is embarrassing for a guy, but please! I know it's not his fault.

Anyway, this was obviously a strange development since we have conceived children. Well, here's where the story gets even longer. Previously DH had a stroke in '07 at the age of 37. A very rare kind only 3% of people have. He has had zero after effects. The neurologist told him if he didn't have the proof in front of him, he would never know it happened. So now DH says he has had this prob. since then. He was diagnosed with High blood pressure at that time so he is on some meds. His 1st doc after hearing the problem passed him onto a urologist. He decided it was retrograde ejaculation. A muscle in the bladder neck does not constrict on orgasm and semen is deposited into the bladder instead of exiting. It can be caused by many things. One of which is some beta blockers used as HBP medication. This dude didn't do any definitive tests. Only did a physical exam of his "manliness" and prostate(not so fun). No problems as far as that went. He passed us on to another urologist out of town. We waited a month & 1/2 for that appt. Meanwhile I'm thinking let's just try switching meds.New doc ran a sperm analysis and post ejaculatory urinalysis at the appt. Guess what? No sperm in either sample. So it's not retrograde ejaculation. Not that I wanted him to have it, but this is worse and more than likely not just a medicine switch to solve. Doc sent him BW to check hormones(testoterone,FHA, prolactine and something else I can't remember right now). More than a week later we received a letter stating SA results which we already knew. It also said probable prostate failure to produce sperm following stroke. If we are interested in IVF to call for more info. I guess I have no choice but to accept it if this is the case, but what happened to BW? Had DH call on the next MOn. Turns out dr. wasn't in the office, but nurse said they just received BW and to wait for a call or another letter. Uuurgh! Why was the 1st letter even sent? He had also said they would probably test further for a blockage if nothing else showed up because DH had evidence of previous fertility. At the moment I am combing the internet for more information/ possible causes. I'm sure I will get good and bad info, but will be armed with LOTS o' questions for DH to ask dr. on next encounter.:) Waiting waiting for the results. Like I need more waiting after all this. I have tried to be more patient as DH gets a little touchy about the subject. Trying to stay positive and look forward to updating with new information/action plan.

So much BABYDUST to all you girls that have been supportive and those who are going through your own situations!! It helps to have everyone to chat and rant with. I love hearing about succesful BFP stories too. Thanks for the looong read. It was a whopper.

nightowl

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Our Story of Trying to Find Answers While TTC