FertilityTies posts tagged with emotional

my hormones are all out of wack!

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:59:23 -0600

i have spent most of the day crying?? my hormones have totally been out of wack lately.. i've been ill@ my boyfriend i feel so bad for that. but i just feel so badly emotionally & physically.my doc prescribed anti depressants after my etopic in july but i never took them... should i take them or just wait to see if this passes...

verabradley

Stressing!!!!

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:29:05 -0500

I know that everything seems so much more stressful now because I just quit smoking but the past couple days I have just felt like breaking down and hiding in a closet or something and crying!!

I am 4 days smoke free so far and at times I can be super sensitive and emotional.

My DH can say one little thing and I am pissed off. I dont meant to be that way but I just cant stop it! Working is stressing me out and the whole thing with having to go through surgery to unblock my tube is stressing me out! I just dont know a healthy way to let everything out with out crying my eyes out!

Im glad that I can come here and write whatever I want to vent and no one cares!

VanessaM

Emotional Roller Coaster Already?

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:15:26 -0500

Hi Ladies- I'm 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant- and the past week I've really noticed a change in myself. I am not really "crabby" but I feel like I could cry at any second. The littlest things just make me want to burst into tears. Even things like pictures or tv shows and songs are choking me up!I don't know if this is the pregnancy making me such a crybaby already ( i thought this happened later in pregnancy) or if it's just the stress I am under that is finally starting to get to me. My husband and I are in the process of building our new home- and a while ago I decided to go back to school- and this summer I have a chemistry class that is kicking my ass. It's a 16 week course condensed into 7 1/2 weeks (since it's summer semester) and I've never had any type of chemistry in highschool- so everything is going VERY fast and I am VERY confused and have even asked for a tutor.... any ways.. so I am not sure exactly where all of a sudden these tears are coming from...

Lisa E

Prayers Plz, SIL has miscarried!

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:46:39 -0500

Please say a prayer for my SIL & brother as they deal with the loss of this pregnancy. She went for a US today & there was no fetal pole or heartbeat. The preg was detected about 2 wks ago & there was a yolk sac at that time, the baby just did not develope.

Also Ladies, tell me if you have ever heard of this:

SIL became preg w/my nephew (he's almost 5) & she had an emotional breakdown during the prenancy. I mean she was a basket case & after his birth she basically did not have anything to do with him & left him to live with my parents (which is why I took care of him often as an infant). It took her alittle over 2 yrs to get back to normal & she refused to talk to Dr's about this, despite incouragment from my family (hers said her behavior was normal-I think this kind of stuff happens in her family often). After finally getting back to herself she took respon for my nephew & by most accounts tunred into a good mother. Then, last year she became PG again & the same thing began to happen again & she miscarried-there is some concern that that she may have tried to MC (long story). You can imagine that I was very concerned to hear of this pregnancy as I had thought they decided not to temp fate again. There were no signs of her having these problems so far this time & now the MC. Do you think there is a link or have you ever heard of this in other women?

Thanks again ladies!

Wendy Lou

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

Sat, 17 May 2008 08:29:51 -0500

This is a collection of thoughts from women facing the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. Some of it may make you cry, some of it may make you smile. The important thing is to realize that you are not alone in your struggle. Infertility may be the most difficult time of your life spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and mentally.

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.

That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.

That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!

That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.

That I would EVER be willing to stick a little blue pill up my hoo-haa (estrace pill...done vaginally),

That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.

That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".

That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

Tat women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.

That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.

Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That DH would get used to doing his 'thing' in a jar.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That my faith in God would be tested heavily.

That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.

That I am so glad my neice was born when she was, early in our ttc, because if she were born now I don't think I could deal with it.

That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at ttc.

That I'd discover who my true friends are, both IRL and online.

That I'd ever be able to bond with my step-sister (also infertile).

That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.

That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)

That foreplay would consist of DH asking "How's your cervix today"

That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.

That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.

That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.

That some people just say the wrong things.

That a simple blood test costs $648!

That sex would ever become a chore!

That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."

That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!

That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, DD, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!

That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That I would learn to speak in code

Like I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN

That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.

That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.

That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.

That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future (she told me twins in 3 to 5 months!)

That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.

That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.

That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.

That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)

That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.

That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.

That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.

That I would have to help DH do it in a cup. (Just this morning!)

That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.

That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are ya'll going to have children."

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.

That it puts this much strain on a marriage.

That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!

It's good to know I am not alone.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That being overweight would cause people to ask when I'm due, which in turn could cause me to cry.

That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")

That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.

That every girl should go to the gyn as soon as she gets AF the first time. If I had, I would have been dx with PCOS a lot faster.

That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)

That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time

That your body has its own mind.

That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.

That you would cry your eyeballs out b/c AF showed.

That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.

That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.

Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.

That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling

That you feel useless as a female

That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children

That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.

That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

Posted on 07 Jul 2007 by twoweekwait.com

Reading through that really made me feel like I wasn't alone in my feelings even more so than having all you ladies to talk with. Feel free to comment and add yor own thoughts!

<3<3<3

CC

You can't always get what you want...

Wed, 07 May 2008 21:31:41 -0500

I was married in September of '07 and went off the pill around October/November. I got my period in December and then not again until March 29th. Originally when I'd gone off the pill it was because I didn't like how it was affecting me and we were going to do natural family planning by charting my cycle to know when to steer clear. When I missed my period, which has never happened until recently, we were both scared and excited because we thought I could be pregnant. After two months, still no period, all tests say negative. Three months and still nothing. My husband said he was worried at first but the more he thought about it the more he agrees with me that now is the right time and he's really looking forward to being a dad. Just when it's about to be four months I finally get my period and I'm excited because that means I'm back on track and I'll be able to tell when I'm fertile s I can try to conceive. Then nope... no period the next month and I'm still not pregnant. I eat healthy, I do everything right and I'm still not pregnant. I take my vitamins and eat plenty of fresh fruits and veggies. I chart my BBT and I try to collect all the baby dust I can. I know I need to stop worrying but I just feel that maybe since I have to -try- to conceive that maybe there's something wrong with me since it seems like everybody else gets pregnant effortlessly. Coming here has shown me that not everybody gets pregnant so easily and I'm not the only person in the world that has to try. I have an appointment Tuesday with my midwife that's just a well woman visit and it'll be my first visit with her. I think I need to stop stressing about baby baby baby but it's subliminal and constant and I just can't turn it off and I can't turn off these nagging doubts that maybe there is something wrong with me even though all my blood tests and everything came back normal. I am a Type A person according to my coworker, I have to have everything in a particular order and ready to roll. I plan things several steps ahead and I get things accomplished... I just can't get this accomplished. I can't get pregnant and it's all I've ever wanted in my whole life. I went to the chiropractor yesterday because somebody told me that helps with fertility to be well adjusted. I'll be going regularly if it will help.

Anyone else emotional and moody today?

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:06:37 -0500

Uh oh.. I'm having an emotional day.. I've already cried twice for no reason... and I feel like it will happen again!

I'm feeling really whiney because I'm sore everywhere... and the baby is punching my cervix! :o)

Anyone else like this today? I always feel better knowing its not just me! :o) Plus... there is always someone who says something to make me smile! :o)

Meghan

Living w/ PCOS

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:24:49 -0500

I have pcos and it Sucks!!! I'm having a really hard time coping lately. I bought a book "Living with P.C.O.S" by Angela Boss, Evelina Weidman Sterling and Richard S. Legro MD. And yes it's very informative but it also made me depressed! All the things that pcos initials, all the challenges. It makes me feel less than a women sometimes. And TTC w/ pcos is soooooo emotional. I am thankful tho for this site, I don't know who I would vent to otherwise. Please share if u know what Im feeling or if u just want to add ur 2 sense. Thanks for listening

Shawnee

I did not ovulate this month

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:04:15 -0600

prog levels read 1.35, the lowest it has been sense clomid. I have noticed a pattern tho, started clomid in Nov-50mg's and ovulated levels 11.2 , Dec-50mg's no ovulation levels 2.54, Jan-100mg's ovulated levels 10.96, Feb-100mg's no ovulation levels 1.35. Seems like I ovulating every other month. Dr is upping March to 150mg's, and I pray it works this time b/c I think I may stop after this month, I am an emotional wreck. And on top of it all I think my Dr sux, she just now tells me I should be taking folic acid while ttc!!! Thanks alot 4 months into it and now u tell me????? Just wanted to share w/ u guys. Thanks for listening and any suggestion/advice is appreciated.

Shawnee

My story in short

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:28:47 -0600

Im 34 years old, DH and I have been ttc for many years w/ no luck what so ever. I was told I had pcos b/c I was infested w/ ovarian cysts and was only getting my period 3 or 4 times a year. I had an Ovarian Wedge Removal in 2004, it worked wonderfully, I lost about 30 lbs in just 2 months(I was at my normal healthy weight) and my periods were regular, DH and I separated at that time, so who knows if I was able to conceive. We worked thru our problems and are happily back together, we have been ttc on our own sense 2005, No-one told me that I was not ovulating until Aug 2007, In nov 2007 I started clomid and I have been ovulating, but have not conceived yet...my fingers are crossed and I keep the faith, but it can be so emotional sometimes I can't even see strait. I found this site just recently and Im hooked. There's comfort in knowing others know what I am going thru. So thank u Ladies and Dr.'s for helping get thru this emotional time a bit easier.

Shawnee

Emotional support

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:00:27 -0500

My daughter has been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now. She has PCOS. My concern is for her welfare and I would like to know how I can best support her. When I first heard that they were trying to concieve, I started knitting sweaters and booties. I was so excited. But as the time passes and she doesn't concieve, she gets so sad every month. How can I best support her?I was as fertle as a rabbit!

Torimom