When dh and I were ttc we always heard, "So??? Anything in there yet??" That really bothered me.
The things people Say!!!
July 21, 2008
So I decided to start a discussion on the stupid things people say when to those TTC. This is a space where you can feel free to vent and let it all out. This is a safe place for venters so please no ridicule on the venting! :)
Some of the things I hate the most:
"stop trying so hard, then you'll get pregnant"
"fertility drugs?! Your going to end up with ten babies!" (best response "so?")
"Go in for adoption... you'll get pregnant right away!" (Seriously, how does that make any sense?)
There are plenty more, but I want to hear all of yours!
Some of the things I hate the most:
"stop trying so hard, then you'll get pregnant"
"fertility drugs?! Your going to end up with ten babies!" (best response "so?")
"Go in for adoption... you'll get pregnant right away!" (Seriously, how does that make any sense?)
There are plenty more, but I want to hear all of yours!
Statement: "I know why you haven't gotten pregnant yet, you are overweight."
Response: "Big girls deserve baby bellies too!"
Statement: "Being overweight causes a lot of problems... good thing you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Maybe wait until you lose some weight."
Response: "Size doesn't determine the type of mother I will be!"
Response: "Big girls deserve baby bellies too!"
Statement: "Being overweight causes a lot of problems... good thing you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Maybe wait until you lose some weight."
Response: "Size doesn't determine the type of mother I will be!"
Statement: "I know why you haven't gotten pregnant yet, you are overweight."
Response: "Big girls deserve baby bellies too!"
Statement: "Being overweight causes a lot of problems... good thing you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Maybe wait until you lose some weight."
Response: "Size doesn't determine the type of mother I will be!"
Response: "Big girls deserve baby bellies too!"
Statement: "Being overweight causes a lot of problems... good thing you haven't gotten pregnant yet. Maybe wait until you lose some weight."
Response: "Size doesn't determine the type of mother I will be!"
oh wanna, I am so sorry that people have said things like that to you. People don't realize the power of their words and how deep they can cut. I think you will be beautiful when pregnant and a beautiful mother. Another thing is that when you already have extra weight you don't have to gain as much during pregnany... it will be all baby!
Ohh honey, I hear you! My hubby and I started trying right away after we got married, we were only 21 but I knew I had irregular cycles (at the time I didnt know why). All I got from my family was "Ohh your too young" and "just live your life first" then 4 years went by and then we got "when are you going to have kids?" "and then we went through countless cycles of fertility treatments and have a beautiful 2 year old boy now, and now I get the "whens baby #2 coming" We cant really do much more treatment as we are financially not ready, and may never be, now I am gettng the "ohh you cant just have one" "they will be lonly" Now I am hurt because I wonder is that true? But my hands are tied, I cant just have a baby at the droop of a hat! SO I feel all your pain, people think that if you have one, the pain goes away....I can tell you it has not, of course its not as bad, but I am still hurting :-(
This is a cute post- and yes people say some rediculous things. Id like to think that all of us will be so compassionate and caring towards others because of all we have gone through.
Whenever I hear that someone is trying or pregnant or whatever, I always take time to think of what to say or whatever so I never am one of those offensive people!
Whenever I hear that someone is trying or pregnant or whatever, I always take time to think of what to say or whatever so I never am one of those offensive people!
Laura, I know a family that only has one. They are so greatful for her every day and she doesn't feel sorry for herself because she has friends and cousins. I would give anything to have my BFP and a beautiful baby. It is such a blessing even if you only get one. I understand about the finances... it is very hard. One thing to keep in mind... if you are open to it is adoption. This is something you could do years down the road if you feel your first is getting too lonely. In the meantime I hope that you will get your BFP very soon without all the treatments. Don't lose hope!! Keep trying!!! ~~~Baby Dust~~~
The one thing I regret was telling everyone we are TTC. We were just so excited to begin and thought it would happen quick. I wish I had kept my mouth shut now. We are about to start Clomid in Dec after we get off our TTC break. DH told his family that and their response was "Fertility drugs!!! You guys are going to end up with 6 babies! You should just let it happen naturally!"
I told them I am 25 yrs old and we have been trying ACTIVELY for 11 months now. I don't think a boost from Clomid will hurt us at all...I wish they would just either be supportive or mind their own business.
I told them I am 25 yrs old and we have been trying ACTIVELY for 11 months now. I don't think a boost from Clomid will hurt us at all...I wish they would just either be supportive or mind their own business.
One of DH's cousin who just graduated high school and has "been around the block" multiple times announced she was preggo 2 months ago. One of our other cousins has been having fertility problems for 6 yrs after a loss of a tube from an EP pregnancy. I was talking to our aunt about it and I said "Can you imagine how Heather and I feel that Sarah gets preggo at the drop of a hat and we have to work so hard at it"
My aunts response was "Well, I feel bad for Heather b/c she is really having problems but I don't feel bad for you yet, your just trying to hard"
She didn't mean anything by it but I had to walk away so no one could see me cry. IT hurt so much.
My aunts response was "Well, I feel bad for Heather b/c she is really having problems but I don't feel bad for you yet, your just trying to hard"
She didn't mean anything by it but I had to walk away so no one could see me cry. IT hurt so much.
What a great post. We decided not to tell anyone because we didn't want the constant questions. My dh and I will celebrate our 10 yr anniversary on Aug 1 so we always get the "don't you think you have waited long enough" or "wow, you have been married 10 years and have no kids! Is there something wrong?" People are so rude!
This is my FAVORITE though. I had surgery last week and at my preop the nurse was asking all these question. (I had been waiting 31/2 hrs to be pre-admitted so I was already bothered). One of the questions was have you ever smoked? How much? How long? I had smoked but quit 3 yrs ago. The nurse then says "You know, smoking can cause infertility." I responded saying well yes, but I quit 3 years ago. She says "right but all those years of smoking could be causing your problems now." I was offended and a little irritated to say the least. This nurse had no idea what I had been going through and didn't know any of my history. So I responded by saying "really!? Heroin addicts and crack whores seem to have no problem getting pregnant. You would think smoking crack or shooting heroin would have more of an effect on fertility than the cigarettes I smoked 3 years ago!" She looked stunned and said "Ok, well lets move on" and she finished asking me the questions. I probably wouldn't have lost it like that if I hadn't had to wait so long to get pre-admited but I just hate when people make comments and stick their nose where it doesn't belong!
This is my FAVORITE though. I had surgery last week and at my preop the nurse was asking all these question. (I had been waiting 31/2 hrs to be pre-admitted so I was already bothered). One of the questions was have you ever smoked? How much? How long? I had smoked but quit 3 yrs ago. The nurse then says "You know, smoking can cause infertility." I responded saying well yes, but I quit 3 years ago. She says "right but all those years of smoking could be causing your problems now." I was offended and a little irritated to say the least. This nurse had no idea what I had been going through and didn't know any of my history. So I responded by saying "really!? Heroin addicts and crack whores seem to have no problem getting pregnant. You would think smoking crack or shooting heroin would have more of an effect on fertility than the cigarettes I smoked 3 years ago!" She looked stunned and said "Ok, well lets move on" and she finished asking me the questions. I probably wouldn't have lost it like that if I hadn't had to wait so long to get pre-admited but I just hate when people make comments and stick their nose where it doesn't belong!
Great post! I have one that really isn't TTC- but related to pregnancy-
Last summer (2007) my husband and I had a miscarriage that resulted in D & C. I found out at 11 1/2 weeks that the baby died at 9 weeks...
Of course at that time I was pretty niave (sp?) and thought pregnany=healthy baby... boy was I wrong! anyways... we pretty much told everybody we were expecting- when we lost the baby sooooo many peopel were like " oh well.. stuff like that happens- good thing you are so young". as if 24 was THAT young! I mean even if a 15 year old lost a baby I think that would be inappropriate to say! a baby is a baby! regardless of trhe mother's age! ugh... and then a co-worker asked me if my drinking caused the miscarriage! I had to really laugh at this one- because I HARDLY drink!! This person saw me leaving a grocery/liquor store a few weeks before the D & C with a couple cases of beer- I was picking up the beer for HUGE bonfire we were hosting- ( I also had a 12 pack of sprite and some bottled water in the cart for myself to drink!!!!)
Last summer (2007) my husband and I had a miscarriage that resulted in D & C. I found out at 11 1/2 weeks that the baby died at 9 weeks...
Of course at that time I was pretty niave (sp?) and thought pregnany=healthy baby... boy was I wrong! anyways... we pretty much told everybody we were expecting- when we lost the baby sooooo many peopel were like " oh well.. stuff like that happens- good thing you are so young". as if 24 was THAT young! I mean even if a 15 year old lost a baby I think that would be inappropriate to say! a baby is a baby! regardless of trhe mother's age! ugh... and then a co-worker asked me if my drinking caused the miscarriage! I had to really laugh at this one- because I HARDLY drink!! This person saw me leaving a grocery/liquor store a few weeks before the D & C with a couple cases of beer- I was picking up the beer for HUGE bonfire we were hosting- ( I also had a 12 pack of sprite and some bottled water in the cart for myself to drink!!!!)
Mrs M, I love how you showed that nurse. Someone needed to tell her where to go. Maybe next time she will be more careful about what she says to the next TTC mom on a mission!
Lisa, I can't believe that people still don't know how to keep their mouths shut even when it comes to a miscarriage. Can't they see beyond the 11 weeks and see the whole life that the mother is greiving for? Sorry for your loss and I wish you lots of Baby Dust and a BFP soon!
Lisa, I can't believe that people still don't know how to keep their mouths shut even when it comes to a miscarriage. Can't they see beyond the 11 weeks and see the whole life that the mother is greiving for? Sorry for your loss and I wish you lots of Baby Dust and a BFP soon!
Lisa~ people can be so rude! Im sorry for your loss :( It is so hard to lose a baby.
Rachel~ I wish I could have taken a picture of her face when I told her that. Looking back I probably shouldn't have said what I did because it really isn't like me but I had just had enough. My husband was proud of me :)
Rachel~ I wish I could have taken a picture of her face when I told her that. Looking back I probably shouldn't have said what I did because it really isn't like me but I had just had enough. My husband was proud of me :)
Oh gosh...we are not telling a soul we are TTC! I don't want the questions! Every time I burp too loud on accident or pee more than 5 times a day people assume I am preggo! Makes me mad! I even had a girl I work with tell me ...Oh your bely is huge, its showing"! IDIOT!!!! Anyway! I love we can vent on here!
Great post, I dont know but sometimes people tend to just watch you, once your married then come babies and if not babies in a certain time frame they start thinking all sort of things, I mean even tho we speak with each other here and god knows it helps me when i come here and can speak to someone, as ladies the disspointment we go tru in not knowing why we are not getting preggo, most times we cry inside, and no one will know how much it hurts not even dh sometimes will understand when af arrives it's like your wondering why things are not happening for me, what am i doing so wrong and you try harder the next month and the next, it even hard when every cousin and sister gets preggo and everyone is like "what are you waiting on" and you give them a grin and say "when the time is right" Just today i told my dad about a friend of mine who had baby and he was like "when am gonna be a grand dad" the only thing i could say was "when the lord decide to bless me" i know he could not understand but thats the most i could say.
i know every single lady here on fertility ties found this site because they were seeking answers, we all are seeking one common thing thats the reason why am here and i am so happy i was able to find persons who are in similar situations as mines, sometimes i wonder if our docotors pay as much attention to us like someone on Fertilityties i know we are not medically inclined but we are all women and we share if not the same but similar experiences and you will have more than ten persons letting you know evrything will be ok and most times before you know it your in a different state of mind, i just wanna say all those who are not preggo yet...keep trying and dont be discourage by what anyone have to say only u and u alone know how it feels and what your goig tru...just keep the faith until that bundle of joy decides to be a blessing in your life.
Caren~ I understand. My dh and I have been married 10 years and have not told everyone we are ttc so we always get the "When is it going to be your turn, etc" I always respond by saying "I don't know I guess when the time is right, maybe in a year or so" It doesnt seem to work though. It is also so frustrating not knowing why we aren't getting preggo. We have been ttc for 15 months. I just had surgery and found out that both my tubes are blocked. Now we know why we aren't getting preggo :) They tried to remove the scar tissue and I find out if it was successful in the beg of Aug when I go in for another hdg dye test. Hopefully it will show all clear and it will happen fast after that. It can be so frustrating having to deal with all the emotions of infertility and then have people make stupid comments!
yes mrsM i had a hsg done in March and it was so painful, the results proved one tube open, and the Dr. who performed the Hsg was like "well at least you have one tube left" I started to cry inside first and then when i was filled with water it came outa my eyes. I hate that lady with a passion because she could have said it differently.
What about this one from my cousin (who has a bunch of kids and grandkids and knows that I'm ttc and can't) about another cousin who just had a baby..."Oh God, who'd want to be in her shoes? with a baby in the house you can never get any sleep, she must be so tired I just feel sorry for her.." umm... maybe me, stupid... seeing as how I've spent the last year of my time and money in fertility treatments that haven't worked...
thanks for this post. here are the ones I got told,
by my FIL after I lost my first miscarriage "well I guess you got what you wanted... now you don't have to tell Donna" (my MIL whom he is divorced from)
by my FIL after my second loss "maybe you should take a break so that your body can recover" this was 6 months later recover from what? obviously I have something wrong that will still be there 6 months from now.
my Ob/GYN at the time "you're young you still have time" ok WTH I was 21 when I started age had nothing to do with it, things DON'T get better with time when it comes to fertility, glad I changed doctors.
co-worker "at least you can get pregnant" Ok this is harsh how do you justify that it is better to get pregnant and miscarry 4 times then to not be able to conceive - both are equally painful and not fair to say one is easier than the other!!
by my FIL after I lost my first miscarriage "well I guess you got what you wanted... now you don't have to tell Donna" (my MIL whom he is divorced from)
by my FIL after my second loss "maybe you should take a break so that your body can recover" this was 6 months later recover from what? obviously I have something wrong that will still be there 6 months from now.
my Ob/GYN at the time "you're young you still have time" ok WTH I was 21 when I started age had nothing to do with it, things DON'T get better with time when it comes to fertility, glad I changed doctors.
co-worker "at least you can get pregnant" Ok this is harsh how do you justify that it is better to get pregnant and miscarry 4 times then to not be able to conceive - both are equally painful and not fair to say one is easier than the other!!
We did not tell anyone about TTC until I got pg last year & then MC. Then the cat was out of the bag so to speak & now everyone knows....Will say that most are nice about it & mean well when they ask how things are going but sometimes it is so hard to answer even the simplest ?? about infertility & I cannot help but wonder why they cannot just keep the curiousity to themselves, ya know? The hardest part is watching everyone else get preggo, especially the younger cousins who do not seem to take much of anything in their lives seriously, let alone having a baby.
The worst thing that happens to me on a continual basis is whenever I walk into a family function someone ALWAYS hands me someone elses baby to hold & then they hug me or pat my back in sympathy-it's almost as if they are saying here you can at least practice on this one. Sometimes I am tempted to plop the little cuties right back in their mommies arms & walk away!!
The worst thing that happens to me on a continual basis is whenever I walk into a family function someone ALWAYS hands me someone elses baby to hold & then they hug me or pat my back in sympathy-it's almost as if they are saying here you can at least practice on this one. Sometimes I am tempted to plop the little cuties right back in their mommies arms & walk away!!
I actually enjoy it when family members stick their foot in their mouths and then look uncomfortable, serves them right... My cousin's hubby came over the other day complaining about how hard it was being a new dad, and my hubby refused to speak to him the whole time he was over... I was so embarrassed but at the same time it's cool that at least one of us had the ----- to be rude about it!
Omg I can so relate to all of those statements but the one I hate the most is: "Have you considered adoption might be best considering you both have fertility issues, wouldnt want to pass it on to your kids" I cried so much whn some one first said that now I jst shrug it of and think '"what would they know"
The other one I hate and I do mean hate is "Guess what Im preg, oh thats right you wouldnt know what thats like coz you havent had a baby. Guess its coz I'll be a better mum then you" Grrr makes me want to jst hit them.....
The other one I hate and I do mean hate is "Guess what Im preg, oh thats right you wouldnt know what thats like coz you havent had a baby. Guess its coz I'll be a better mum then you" Grrr makes me want to jst hit them.....
I hate:
-"it will happen when you least expect it"...right. When you don't ov on your own and you have to take meds, you ALWAYS expect it! Its not just going to sneak up on me!
-After my miscarriage, everyone keeps telling me how they have a friend, a sister, a neighbor, blah, blah...that had 3 miscarriages in a row, 5 miscarriages in a row. REALLY? you are telling me this NOW? How does that help!?
-"Being pregnant sucks. I can't drink. I can't smoke. This sucks." Wow. This one beats all. I am NOT pregnant, but on metformin, so I can't drink...and ALL i need is a drink! ha! But she doesn't hear me complaining!
-"it will happen when you least expect it"...right. When you don't ov on your own and you have to take meds, you ALWAYS expect it! Its not just going to sneak up on me!
-After my miscarriage, everyone keeps telling me how they have a friend, a sister, a neighbor, blah, blah...that had 3 miscarriages in a row, 5 miscarriages in a row. REALLY? you are telling me this NOW? How does that help!?
-"Being pregnant sucks. I can't drink. I can't smoke. This sucks." Wow. This one beats all. I am NOT pregnant, but on metformin, so I can't drink...and ALL i need is a drink! ha! But she doesn't hear me complaining!
So so so so true babyq. Hear both those all the time....
Can totally relate to the "least expect it" one Im usually on meds to help me o to so how the hell do you "lest expect it" when you've jst taken meds for 5days been told you got happy little eggys jst waiting to meet the fishy and you bd for the past 2wks jst so they could play and get to know each other. Only to discover wk or so later that the egg and fishy didnt become best friends grrrr.
And the "being preg sucks" ...."well why the hell are you preg with your 3rd, 4th kid? If it sucks so much then close your legs!!!!" Sorry that one has me espesh wild atm my friend is 4months preg and that is all Im hearing from her and this is like her 3rd preg. She'll also turn around and say things like "I wish I didnt have kids, your so lucky" Lucky my a****
Can totally relate to the "least expect it" one Im usually on meds to help me o to so how the hell do you "lest expect it" when you've jst taken meds for 5days been told you got happy little eggys jst waiting to meet the fishy and you bd for the past 2wks jst so they could play and get to know each other. Only to discover wk or so later that the egg and fishy didnt become best friends grrrr.
And the "being preg sucks" ...."well why the hell are you preg with your 3rd, 4th kid? If it sucks so much then close your legs!!!!" Sorry that one has me espesh wild atm my friend is 4months preg and that is all Im hearing from her and this is like her 3rd preg. She'll also turn around and say things like "I wish I didnt have kids, your so lucky" Lucky my a****
I am often annoyed when people tell me... advice kind of things like..
Oh you are tired now, just wait until you have the baby.
First they ask me how I am feeling... and I tell them, and then they try to justify it by saying "It will get worse". Whatever.
I will be SO happy to be tired. Just to have my little one in the next room will be SO worth it.
I know they are just trying to be informative... but they don't realize that a few months ago I would have given ANYTHING to get pregnant. And now that I am, I don't care what I have to go through when I have this child.
Kelli, I really love the comment "If they only knew it was the IVF". Very cute.
Oh you are tired now, just wait until you have the baby.
First they ask me how I am feeling... and I tell them, and then they try to justify it by saying "It will get worse". Whatever.
I will be SO happy to be tired. Just to have my little one in the next room will be SO worth it.
I know they are just trying to be informative... but they don't realize that a few months ago I would have given ANYTHING to get pregnant. And now that I am, I don't care what I have to go through when I have this child.
Kelli, I really love the comment "If they only knew it was the IVF". Very cute.
Good Post! The thing that irrates me the most is my mOTNHER! I love her dearly, but I hate it when we are out, and her friends ask , " So when are you going to have another?" and my mom responds for me with this sad , pathetic look..and says" well they just can't seem to get the hang of it" .. Its so agggravating, I mean its not like we are NOT doing it, now we have turned to fertility treatments, which nobody except all of you know..
oh wow ladies... I can soooooo relate to the majority of these! People can be such social morons! ugh!!! I wish we could hand out idiot signs to those that deserve them... and then once a week all the idiots can go on parade.......
This is going to sound weird- but I'm glad that other people have experience with THOSE people! Not that I want any of you to have to deal with rude and inconsiderate commments- but it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one that gets those kind of comments!
I've got another one too... I have a brother who is a COMPLETE idiot- we do not get along AT ALL... his "wife" was due last June (2007) and I had a D & C also last June- just 2 weeks before they had my nephew- and my brother at the 4th of July- infront of family, friends and neighbors made a smart ass remark about "obviously Lee (my husband) did something wrong"- he was referring to the miscarriage.
This is going to sound weird- but I'm glad that other people have experience with THOSE people! Not that I want any of you to have to deal with rude and inconsiderate commments- but it's nice knowing that I'm not the only one that gets those kind of comments!
I've got another one too... I have a brother who is a COMPLETE idiot- we do not get along AT ALL... his "wife" was due last June (2007) and I had a D & C also last June- just 2 weeks before they had my nephew- and my brother at the 4th of July- infront of family, friends and neighbors made a smart ass remark about "obviously Lee (my husband) did something wrong"- he was referring to the miscarriage.
lol no kidding!
With my brother- it's not that he doesn't think before he speaks- okay- well yeah- he just does not think....
but he very much says things intentionally to "hit below the belt". He DESPISES my husband- only because my husband Lee(before we even knew each other) arrested my brother for DUI (5th offense I think) . ahh.. that was the best birthday gift ever... lol and then a few months later Lee and I started dating and well... my brother was NOT so happy...
But then again my brother does not really like ANYONE...He's just one of those "different" kinds......
With my brother- it's not that he doesn't think before he speaks- okay- well yeah- he just does not think....
but he very much says things intentionally to "hit below the belt". He DESPISES my husband- only because my husband Lee(before we even knew each other) arrested my brother for DUI (5th offense I think) . ahh.. that was the best birthday gift ever... lol and then a few months later Lee and I started dating and well... my brother was NOT so happy...
But then again my brother does not really like ANYONE...He's just one of those "different" kinds......
I like this post....the things ppl would say...
When you have a miscarriage...it wasn't meant to be. Or you can always have another child or maybe you're not meant to be a parent.... I love the ones that say I'm sorry but....really they are not sorry if there is a but in a statement.
There are other things ppl have said to ppl I know and to me. I usually would tell them I would never wish miscarriage and/or infertility on anyone. Esp for our wonderful dh's it breaks their hearts as well. They have to deal with mess also. Ladies hate and judgement is live and well in this world. It's sad but (see I'm doing a but) true.
When you have a miscarriage...it wasn't meant to be. Or you can always have another child or maybe you're not meant to be a parent.... I love the ones that say I'm sorry but....really they are not sorry if there is a but in a statement.
There are other things ppl have said to ppl I know and to me. I usually would tell them I would never wish miscarriage and/or infertility on anyone. Esp for our wonderful dh's it breaks their hearts as well. They have to deal with mess also. Ladies hate and judgement is live and well in this world. It's sad but (see I'm doing a but) true.
lmao these are soooo true ladies i am soooo hearing you all.. my gran made me smile a few weeks ago, i was worried sick i had a incompitent cervix , as i was 29 weeks and 2cm dilated but not feeling labour.. odd i know, lol i was crying to my mom who was at my grans, she said to my gran oh claire is worried sick the poor love , this is going on bla bla bla, my gran said ' what she worried for if the lil ones cooked he will wanna get out' i was like WHAT?? then she said '' well u got 2 kids already u know worry comes with the package and you will have these luxurys of children'' i was so stunned it was funny in the end, she didnt mean it in a offending way, my gran just has odd ways of expresion and she cracks me up as she has a real strong irish accent so i just smile at her, but wow gran dont mix your words..lol
Here is what I say: My hubby is a cut up bigtime!! He is nuts! When people ask me when I am going to have one...which is every stinkin day (nobody knows we are trying very hard) I always say..." a wise woman will raise her husband before trying to raise kids"...they just look at me like I have a horn growing out of my head. Then you have those who say "oh gosh, don't ya'll go trying to have a baby yet, wait and make sure this is going to work" Well don't ya think that we thought of that before we said I do!! URGGHHH!
Very funny KEM. I will have to use that line :-))
My issue is when people tend to begin sentances with the phrase, "Well at your age...." and is usually followed by a) you'll be lucky to have more than one child b)you should stop trying nautrally and go straight to IUI, IVF, etc b) consider adoption
As if body parts start to ossify and decay once a woman hits 35. I am well aware of the challenges facing women trying to conceive after 35 but it certainly isn't impossile.
My issue is when people tend to begin sentances with the phrase, "Well at your age...." and is usually followed by a) you'll be lucky to have more than one child b)you should stop trying nautrally and go straight to IUI, IVF, etc b) consider adoption
As if body parts start to ossify and decay once a woman hits 35. I am well aware of the challenges facing women trying to conceive after 35 but it certainly isn't impossile.
I love all the great posts! At least we all know we are not alone in the world of stupid & hurtful remarks!
I think the idiot sign is a good idea... we should make them wear oneof those cone hats and sit on a high stool for everyone to see!
I also love the comment about raising your husband first! I can only imagine the looks on peoples faces!!
I also can't get over the co-worker that said that KEM's belly was showing! I have definatly had people eyeing me up in that region trying to decide for themselves what they thought but no one has said anything remotely close to that!
Great posts ladies... keep em coming! It is great to vent every once in a while... after all it helps relieve all the stress that is "preventing us from getting pregnant"!
I think the idiot sign is a good idea... we should make them wear oneof those cone hats and sit on a high stool for everyone to see!
I also love the comment about raising your husband first! I can only imagine the looks on peoples faces!!
I also can't get over the co-worker that said that KEM's belly was showing! I have definatly had people eyeing me up in that region trying to decide for themselves what they thought but no one has said anything remotely close to that!
Great posts ladies... keep em coming! It is great to vent every once in a while... after all it helps relieve all the stress that is "preventing us from getting pregnant"!
Another one that pisses me off is "Oh, you're only 25! You have plenty of time!" Well, the fact that I'm "only 25" and haven't gotten pregnant in almost a year of trying dosn't alarm some people?! Since I'm still "young" it should have happened by now!
I'm 25 (26 in December) and I want to be done with kids by 32ish. That said I don't want to pop 2-3 out within a 3 yrs span. So, I kinda want to get started now.
I'm 25 (26 in December) and I want to be done with kids by 32ish. That said I don't want to pop 2-3 out within a 3 yrs span. So, I kinda want to get started now.
DH and i are in an 80's rock band, and one time my bass player told me, "just have sex every day. that's what we did, and we got pregnant the first month."
I'm like, "Dumbass! Like 26 out of the 30 days don't matter!!" Okay, well, i didnt' SAY that, but i thought it.
I also hate, (and many of you have mentioned) how people say, "Just stop trying, and it'll happen when you stop stressing about it."
Yeah, i was maticulous for about the first 6 months, and then we actually tried the laid back approach for another 6 months and it didn't work. So after a year, i went back to OPKs and tracking it. We just finished month 18 of trying, and our 3rd round of Clomid.
I'm like, "Dumbass! Like 26 out of the 30 days don't matter!!" Okay, well, i didnt' SAY that, but i thought it.
I also hate, (and many of you have mentioned) how people say, "Just stop trying, and it'll happen when you stop stressing about it."
Yeah, i was maticulous for about the first 6 months, and then we actually tried the laid back approach for another 6 months and it didn't work. So after a year, i went back to OPKs and tracking it. We just finished month 18 of trying, and our 3rd round of Clomid.
good post rachel!
so here's mine. last christmas my MIL got 2 centerpiece decorations-one from us, and one from BIL and his girlfriend. ours was bigger and BIL said as a joke "geez, you always have to one-up me". Well, BIL and his girlfrined just found out last week that they are pregnant-very unexpected. My MIL calls me and says "Looks like you guys got one-upped this time"! This will be her first grandbaby. Babies, centerpieces...what's the difference...What!! She was trying to make a joke-she doesn't know we've been having trouble, but still! Ouch! I started crying the minute I hung up the phone...
I love the raising the husband joke KEM! I might have to use that one!
so here's mine. last christmas my MIL got 2 centerpiece decorations-one from us, and one from BIL and his girlfriend. ours was bigger and BIL said as a joke "geez, you always have to one-up me". Well, BIL and his girlfrined just found out last week that they are pregnant-very unexpected. My MIL calls me and says "Looks like you guys got one-upped this time"! This will be her first grandbaby. Babies, centerpieces...what's the difference...What!! She was trying to make a joke-she doesn't know we've been having trouble, but still! Ouch! I started crying the minute I hung up the phone...
I love the raising the husband joke KEM! I might have to use that one!
I started a thread earlier today not realizing this was here! opps. I have a lot of religious friends and they have been blessed within the first month or 2 of trying. I get tons of the
"you're too young"
"maybe now isn't God's timing"
"maybe you should focus on other things"
"maybe you should read the Bible more"
We got a puppy this past spring and a month later had to give her back to the shelter for many reasons. I was told that I should never get another dog and reconsider having kids because it was immature for us to get a puppy and give her back (no joke).
"you're too young"
"maybe now isn't God's timing"
"maybe you should focus on other things"
"maybe you should read the Bible more"
We got a puppy this past spring and a month later had to give her back to the shelter for many reasons. I was told that I should never get another dog and reconsider having kids because it was immature for us to get a puppy and give her back (no joke).
Oh speaking of this thread...
One of the physicians I work for on Wednesday made the stupidist comment... I was appalled.
I sat down to eat lunch and it was somewhat awkward cause it was just him and I... so trying to think of something to say, he said, "So, are you STILL pregnant?"
I was just like, what the??? What kind of question is that? Its like he was assuming I was going to miscarry. And my office manager, she keeps saying things like, "oh, we need to make sure Megan is covered IN CASE something happens to her". And I'm thinking?.... what could possibly happen to me? They are so negative!!! It makes me mad, because us pregnant women need positive energy!
One of the physicians I work for on Wednesday made the stupidist comment... I was appalled.
I sat down to eat lunch and it was somewhat awkward cause it was just him and I... so trying to think of something to say, he said, "So, are you STILL pregnant?"
I was just like, what the??? What kind of question is that? Its like he was assuming I was going to miscarry. And my office manager, she keeps saying things like, "oh, we need to make sure Megan is covered IN CASE something happens to her". And I'm thinking?.... what could possibly happen to me? They are so negative!!! It makes me mad, because us pregnant women need positive energy!
oooo some people!!!
amber, wow, it sounds like she has turned into a very unhappy person and is trying to bring down people with her...yikes
sunshine, okay. puppies...babies... i think there just an itsy bitsy difference there... :)
and maggie! omg! if that doc says that to you, i can't imagine what his bedside manner must be like! ouch! how inconsiderate! sounds like that place needs some happy gas pumped into it! :) well we're here to be positive for you! of course you're not going to have any problems! you're going to have a wonderful healthy pregnancy!!!
amber, wow, it sounds like she has turned into a very unhappy person and is trying to bring down people with her...yikes
sunshine, okay. puppies...babies... i think there just an itsy bitsy difference there... :)
and maggie! omg! if that doc says that to you, i can't imagine what his bedside manner must be like! ouch! how inconsiderate! sounds like that place needs some happy gas pumped into it! :) well we're here to be positive for you! of course you're not going to have any problems! you're going to have a wonderful healthy pregnancy!!!
Ok...I have a good one. Yesterday at my sons 2 year birthday party. My Aunt tells my hubby "Ohh stop trying so hard" Just watch it happen when you give up.....HELLO! So apparently ladies, if you just give up, your PCOS and husbands strict Morph will magically dissappear! GRRRRRR. I pretended like I didnt hear it, I didnt want to ruin my sons special day!
Four days after I got married, everyone I work with started asking me if I was pregnant. I was offended, we were not trying before we got married so how would I know 4 days after the wedding? After a while I got used to the comments of when we plan to start trying and I am usually nice about it, however, my husband is not so nice... he likes to tell people who like to stick their noses where they dont belong that "we cant have kids" and see their reaction. It is funny though how it gets them to stop asking. I asked him what will happen when we do concieve and his response was "its a miracle!!"
When we got back from our camping trip in Colorado 3 weeks ago he had a chance to use this when someone I work with asked me if I "brought a baby back" I rolled my eyes, and he used his famous line... I havent heard anythign from her since!!
When we got back from our camping trip in Colorado 3 weeks ago he had a chance to use this when someone I work with asked me if I "brought a baby back" I rolled my eyes, and he used his famous line... I havent heard anythign from her since!!
July 21, 2008