sad but determined to have my baby

after this i dont think im going to get on this website for a while i went to the doctor met with a counselor had an education class about having the baby getting really excited...got all types af freebies diapers etc.... well last night i got up and use the restroom had a blot clot got up 3 hrs later had another not a big one but it got my attention so i told the nurse they did a ultrasound saw nothing no sac but my uterus measured at 8 weeks which is crazy!!! i get a blood test my hcg level dropped from 10,000 to like 4,676 im lost the doctors were thinking pregnant in tubes but i dont know she wants me to prepare for a miscarriage .what i dont understand is why ... why me i want this so bad and its hard i have pocs and i knew it was going to be hard to get pregnant but i didnt think it would be this way im so lost right now but i know one thing i will get my baby it may not be now give me 3-6 months ill be back!!!