preggo's letter! lol!

August 28, 2008

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. ..

If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having ababy is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm.

Any other response makes you an a$$

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you.You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body.You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus,cervix or how they plan to use their breasts.Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever.A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face.Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended.The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may soundcrazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals.Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited.This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor,delivery, the hospital and the parents home.You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out".If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you willbe asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should cleanup the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way.Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering withbreastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents.Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child.Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.

Signed,

All Pregnant Women

August 28, 2008

i thought this was so funny, esp after hearing some of the things that were said to Liane and Maria! lol

August 28, 2008

omg...lmao, as a recently pregnant woman, I couldn't have said it better!!!! This is great :)

August 28, 2008

LOL That is awesome! Im not nor ever have been pregnant but I think that should be printed out by every pregnant woman and handed out daily!!

August 28, 2008

Very Funny! I love it especially # 2 and 3

August 28, 2008

I think my fav is #5.... lol!

Much fun!

August 28, 2008

I just sent it to my preggo bff...her hubby's sister's husband was annoyed that she wasn't registering at babies r us...i mean, why does he care!? and then then the entire in-law side of the family was giving nursing, bottle, nipple "advice"...totally inappropriate!

August 28, 2008

some people are so rude!

August 28, 2008

#7 TOTALLY ME!!! My mother was at the birth of #1 and said some very personal things to my sister..whom we purposly didn't call b/c she wanted in..and we didnt. So now everyone wants to come and I said..you know what..its not a spectator event! LOL

August 28, 2008

i invited my MIL to the birth cuz her and i are close but i cant imagine anyone actualy asking to come in the birthing room..... thats such a personal thing! Like you want the world looking at cha in that position!

August 28, 2008

Exactly Chels..and you wouldn't beleive what she said to my sister...something like "I was helping hold her other leg..but then a horrible smell came and I just had to sit down." Like duh..do you think amniotic fluid, bodily fluids and meconium smell good?! Hmm, you'd think you'd figure that out after 4 kids. What a private personal thing to say to someone!

August 28, 2008

That's good tho..next time they ask I'll say.."get your tikets on ticket master" LOL

August 28, 2008

OMG - my mom is a dink and says some pretty crappy things but that tops anything she has said so far! Wow! I was mad cuz my mom is a smoker and she would keep going out for a smoke and them coming back in the room and she reaked of smoke - i wanted to puke! lol!

August 28, 2008

Chels My fav is #7! I have already had several people say that they will be in the room whenever we have a baby. I got news for them, the only person that will be in that room is Stevie(Hubby.

It reminds me of the movie 'Knocked Up', when she goes in to have the baby and her sis tries to butt into the room and the dad says "BACK THE F' OFF!!! LOL

Thats totally me!

August 28, 2008

oh my gosh! I LOVE this!!!

Would it be inappropriate to email the "letter" to my mother in law?! Specifically with a few of these bolded and in bigger font?! lol

August 28, 2008

LOL, Lisa! I have already printed this out and made copies. When I do get preggo, they will be given to every one in the family who has said they will be in the room for the birth....MIL included! = )

August 28, 2008

ha ha!! I really think I SHOULD email this to her- and of course to the sister-in-law too!!!
Hpim0105
DC9

August 28, 2008

Something to add to the list: When the afterbirth comes out nad ur DH yells OMG! Is your brains falling out?! DON'T PUNCH HIM!!! :) He is out of his mind, and not thinking!

My Wonderful hubby said that right after I gave birth to a still born son. I don't remember much about that horrible evening, but I DO remember THAT statement/question!

August 28, 2008

oh my gosh DC9! He said that!?! wow.. men can be so... dumb!

I think we need to compile a list of things husbands/partners should NOT say.. lol and then print them out one by one and stick the little 'notes" in their shoes or vehicles so they can learn! I'd say we could print them ALL out on a sheet of paper.. but you know men...they would never actually read all of it! So one everyday might work :)
Hpim0105
DC9

August 28, 2008

LMFAO Good idea! Men are ignorant creatures by nature, but that's part of why we love them. Mine loves to make me laugh. After he said that, he appologized. The last time I was pg, he promised not to say that again. :)

August 29, 2008

I love this post! I was sitting there reading and nodding the whole time! :-)

August 29, 2008

i told my SIL to email this to her MIL along wiht a few others and make it like a "funny Email" and hopefully she would get the hint! lol!

August 29, 2008

bump for liane and summer and kan!!

September 23, 2008

Chels- i JUST saw this, it's genius!!! SO funny, i so badly want to send it to my MIL... but i'll refrain b/c she'll see right through it. LOL.

Banner_06