People making me feel guilty.....

Liane, I hate it when people do this. There absolutely nothing wrong with forumla. I was on it and I'm fine. DH was formula fed and he's fine. Dont let anyone make you feel guilty. If formula was so bad they wouldn't make it. When the time comes, I plan on BF for a few weeks and switching to formula when the time comes. It will be easier on me b/c I will most likely have to keep working. Tell people to mind their own business. If you are DH are ok with it then it is the right thing to do! Those babies will be super healthy whatever you do! = )

im sorry you have to deal with this - i kinda did too. I tried to breastfeed my 1st and it didnt work like i wanted to and then with my 2nd I had a 2 yr old of my own and I had a 6 week old baby that I watched full time in my home along with my newborn so breastfeeding wasnt something I could do. People made me feel bad for not doing it and I would tell them to shut up or mind thier own beeze-wax..... im like that :)

I held my kids close with feedings and bonded and with not breastfeednig my DH was able to bond just as much as I did with them and we felt that was very important.

Tell them to get the hell out of your face and deal with their own wacked out issues someplace else. Or being up all the crappy things that they do and tell them you don’t agree with the way they handeled that situation.

Since you are probably too nice normally then do it (it will feel really good) and then later blame it on the hormones if you have to! LOL!

Tell those people its none of there business on what you do. Ask them, have you had twins? Do you know the demands of having 2? Cause im assuming they have all had one, and know how hard it is to have just one, yet alone adding another one to that. That would make me so mad. I would just say you know what mind your own business, they will be getting great nutrition. The formula out now a days is great!

I have a neighbor who is like that. She is still breast feeding her 2 yr old...not that that is wrong. If it works for her, great. But she is trying throw guilt at me for not wanting to breastfeed mine and Im not even pregnant yet. She even had the nerve to tell me my kids wouldn't be smart if I didnt breastfeed. DH wasn't breastfed and he graduated 1st in his class. Its all about what works for you and the babies.

Aww Liane! There is NOTHING wrong with your decision not to breast feed! It's noone else's business! How dare they tell you what you should do! Or even imply that you are anything less that an excellent mother! I am really sorry that people-ESPECIALLY family is harssing you about this. It's your decision- and your right to do what you want. Like Laura said, whatever you do those little ones will be happy, healthy and will have a WONDERFUL caring mommy!

Girls....I will admit...there is nothing that grosses me out more than the thoughts of me breastfeeding! I can't help it! One of my good friends is Breastfeeding now and I can't stand it! I don't want to see it, hear her pump it, sit with her while she does it...I want no part in it! They all yell at me over it too but I will stand strong! Liane....you are not the only one who has no desire to do it! I back you 100%!!!

people are so stupid, i dont really get why anyone would think that they should tell someone what to do with their children. I chose not to circumsize and you would have thought i chose to cut off an arm for crying out loud! Everyone would gasp when they found out and they would give me their 1 response "you know that is more dirty and he can get cancer" and i had studied long and hard and had an answer for everything they said and de-bunked all thier crap. And bottom line, its a choice and since we live here we have choices. When i know that someone close to me is having a boy i give them info on circumsision and then i leave it up to them, its best to be educated and then left to make up your own mind. You have made up your mind and are happy with your choice, why cant others be happy for you?

The demands of twins has got to be tremendous and you are giving the babies great formula!

Thank you ladies...you are making me cry. This has just been such a touchy issue. I had a friend who had twins who breastfed them until they were a year and half old. I think people think that if she did it I should also. I know myself well enough to know that I couldnt handle that. I am not comfortable with the idea to start with. I do want to give my babies the colostrum because to me that feels important. I was a bottle fed baby and I turned out just fine. I broke down with my mom yesterday and told her that if people make me feel guilty from now on that I will totally flip out on them and tell them to mind their own business. I am so sick and tired of people thinking that it is their choice. Thanks ladies. ((HUGS))

Oh Liane- thats terrible. Its like a new movement for breatfeeding is surfacing like "everyone's doing it" kinda motto-

But it is cyclical, most of our parents formula fed us, when i was a baby, my mom told us that if a women BF it was like, "what are you doing?? "Bottles are the way to go.. (that was 30 years ago) Now it seems the opposite-

I tried to BF for 9 very long and painful weeks, finally I just could not do it.. and we were fine with the decision to use formula- BF'ing is ALOT of work with one, its all consuming, I cannot imagine with twins and everyones family/home situation is different. What might be right for one might not be for another. Its great you are going to get the colostrum out with pumping, and to be honest its not that much it only comes in for a few days but very nutrious (sp?) and while in the hospital they will probably start the babies on formula right away. Your milk does not come in for a few days- I am not sure how much "pumping" will get it out- I am just speaking from experience- I tried to pump the for the first few days, and because I did not have my milk, not much got into the bottles, it was just easier to nurse initially and might be something you may consider to nurse the first 2 days with the babies and supplement with formula before going all formula

What ever you decide to do, it will be wonderful for the babies, formula's these days are wonderful.. Just tell the family to MYOB!

Thanks Caryn. I know that when it comes to the colostrum part we are going to have to play it by ear for sure. I have had colostrum already since I have been 15 weeks pregnant. When I squeeze my boob it comes leaking out. If the pump will not extract it I will breastfeed the colostrum for a couple of days. I know there isnt much colostrum but from what I have read it is really good for them.

Liane-

I completely understand about not being comfortable b/f. I am not sure what I plan to do exactly- maybe do what you are doing with the colostrum- or maybe b/f for a month or two. I really do not want to go much longer than that.

People just need to wake up and realize that they had their chance to raise their own children- you should get a chance to raise yours!

It is so annoying when people want to put their two cents in- it's like they think they are experts in everything! GRRR....

maybe a good "unleashing"/flip out would do some good :) it might make you feel better- and it may teach others to mind their own business! :)

Yes Liane its very good for them- I just wanted to share my experience, because I know you want to formula feed, and I totally support that, and you are set to pump in the beginning, but becuase so little comes out, you may need to BF the first day or so.. not saying this is 100% but could happen

OMG, Liane. I'm sorry. People have no consideration these days! That is why we aren't telling fam/friends our picked out names..don't want to hear if they like it or not..lol.

The funny thing is, Liane...is I did bf my son for 6 months and hope to do this baby for a yr. And I get guff too! People who don't like bf don't want to see it..so I pumped and took bottles when we were in public..but this time I'm not going to make myself feel like I have to. As long as we're covered up...bf is natural..and its ok to do. Its not like I have a booby hanging out. LOL Its just funny how you get it on both sides of the decision!

Love ya sweetie and you are making the right choice for you. The right choice for them must be different. That cant make one feel guilty about doing something that they would do, if the other doesnt feel comfortable doing it. I mean heck maybe you and hubby feel comfortable having sex on top of the roof or something and they dont would you yell at them and tell them they are wrong for not wanting to do that...haha NO...haha. Just something that ran through my mind...haha!

Again I think you are making the right choice for you. EVERYONE has there own opinions, own choices, own options. Everyone chooses different things in life. No one usually is right or wrong in most cases, its just the choice one makes that makes them feel comfortable.

We love ya sweetie and are all here for you!

((((HUGS))))

Kelli-

My hubby and I are doing the same thing with names!

People keep asking us what our "top choices" are- and so far i have been able to say that we really don't have any yet.. we are waiting to come up with some after we find out if it's a boy or girl ( AUg 22 we find out!)

So then after that I am not sure what I am going to say- but we have the SAME reasoning- we don't want to hear people gripes and complains about the names!

My mom likes the "plain names" for goodness sake she has 6 kids: Tina, Edward, Charles, Kimberly, Lisa and Anna- none of which are creative or unique at all!! Not that there is anything wrong with the names- but she would prefer a boy being John or a girl being Marie! And dh's family is even more opinionated! So I figure that they can find out when the baby is born :)

Thanks again ladies. Kelli I agree with you. It can happen where some people are on both sides of the spectrum. It is just too bad that people do mind their own business and let everyone do what they please!

Sorry you are facing this! I got it too when I said I was only going to do it for 4 weeks! Why do people feel it is there right to make you feel bad about your decisions or life! Honey you are doing great and those twins are going to be strong and healthy no matter what you choose to do with them!!! Hugs honey!

Liane, I hope you know deep down inside that you're already a terrific mom and that you and your dh are the parents of these twins and it is your choice. Period. There is no right or wrong when it comes to breastfeeding, just like circumcision or what brand bottle or formula or whether or not to use a pacifier. It's all just personal choice. Try and keep your chin up and do your best to just ignore them. I'm sure they mean well and don't want to hurt you. Sometimes people just need to think of what they're saying and how it sounds to others before they speak.

I had my own father tell me that I HAD to breastfeed to keep my baby healthy, he even said that I never should have delivered him at 37wks and since I had, that is what caused his jaundice, clogged tear duct and stomache reflux. It's all just crap and so I just ignore him. Of course it bothered me when he said it but I know that I'm a great mom and you are too! (((((hugs)))))

that is such a personal decision...and when people say things in the future, i would tell them that. Or if you don't want to deal with that drama you can just make up some reason why you CAN'T BF and then they will feel like an ass for even brining it up...

Don't feel guilty. Everyone gets to decide this for themselves! :) can't wait to see those twins! :)

btw- i am a twin and my mim BF for 6 weeks and then said DONE! she said it was a lot with two...

Thanks Fran and Babyque.

Sarah, I am sorry that your father said that to you. I think if it were my parents saying these things to me it would hurt me even more. Thank you for making me feel confident about my decision and reminding me that I am a good mother. I am doing what I feel will be best for our children and our family. ((HUGS))

Liane... stick with what you feel is right for you. I personally have decided not to breastfeed. I am not comfortable with the idea of it. A lot of people have reassured me that our babies will be fine with formula. So many people grown up just fine :) Imagine how much money these formula companies are making!!! Look at all the advertising! :) They must be doing something right. :)

I just want to say, that I am sick of peoples unwanted advice. I understand they are trying to be "helpful"... but if I have a question I will ask and if I need to know something, I will let them know. Don't tell me that I should breastfeed, or that the stroller I picked out is too extreme, or that the bottles I choose are too expensive. It's MY baby and MY life, and I can make my own decisions. I'm a grown married pregnant woman... since when do I have to be told how to raise my children! :) Geez, those hormones are in full force :) But I feel for you... and I'm sorry people are SO hurtful. They don't think... especially when they are related to us, that makes it harder to deal with... cause you know its going to come back around again. Stay strong! And tell them how you feel :)

HUGS!

Liane, hang in there.. people are going to make you feel guilty/bad about lots of your parenting from here on out.. everyone has something to say about what you're doing! You just have to be firm in your decision making, thank them for their advice.. don't try and argue.. and just tell them thanks, but I am going to do it this way... and just leave it at that... its hard.. and its frustrating.. and you might end up breaking down in tears later about it.. (i know I did!) but don't let them see that it bothers you.. or they'll think they can get you to change your mind!

I don't think any less of you for wanting to do formula.. if you aren't up for breastfeeding, then it won't be a good thing for you or the babies.. it may end up coming between your relationship.. you know? Hey, I was strictly formula fed.. I didn't even get colostrum.. and I'm just fine! The decision to breast or bottle feed is a very personal one... and it should be between you, your babies, and maybe your dh... its none of any one else's business, though I'm sure they mean well...

Honestly, if I'd had twins, I'm not sure I'd have breast fed.. I think if I had, I'd have switched them off: baby A gets the boob and baby B gets the bottle at one feeding, and then at the next, B gets the boob and A gets the bottle.. of course, that would get frustrating and confusing I'm sure.. I don't know how long I'd last!

And the only way any one has any right to even THINK to tell you its JUST too babies and you need to suck it up, better have breastfed twins themselves!!!

Sorry people suck sometimes.

Thanks Maggie and Meghan! You ladies are really great at making me feel better about my choices. It is obvious to see that most women who are pregnant or have just have babies are getting unwanted advice. I guess like you ladies said, just do what you feel is right and put other peoples opinions aside!

Its funny, I was talking to sarah abt the same thing, I have a friend that used donor eggs and IVF and had a a baby. She hadnt spoken to me ever since she knew I was preggo (the obvious jealousy). I was so darn happy for her and called her to wish and she says that shame on me that Im not BF and that Im missing out somthing great and I should have NO excuse to not B/F. Well, thats how life is Liane. Ppl will have something to say or the other. If its not the B/F, its something else. Remember that NO mother would harm her child. She will always put the children before her and do what is best for her family. So, you made the right choice according to what u think is the best so dont feel bad abt someone saying something. I gave the Breast milk incl colustrum and all that for 2 full months. I am very happy by my choice. So, I think you are doing what is best for u and ur family. I stand by my choice, but if I were to have another baby, I probably would B/F.

Thanks for making me feel more confident Hope. I am sorry that your friend was like that towards you. I would never ever make someone feel guilty either way. Just because BF is not for me doesnt mean it isnt right for someone else. It is just too bad that people out there think they have the right to criticize!