September 25, 2009
My DH and I got married 11-02-08. About a month before the wedding, we decided we would go off birth control 2 weeks before the wedding. This way, I would not get AF during the honeymoon and we could get a head start on TTC. About 6 weeks after the wedding, I had a super light AF with a lot of mucus. I started getting sick with severe nausea, dizziness and diarrhea. On Christmas Day I POAS and got a faint positive. I showed my sister so I had a witness. BW came back negative and after a few weeks my sickness went away. It was attributed to a chemical pregnancy. There were so many strange emotions we felt. I looked back on the last 2 months and wondered what one thing caused all this. I bought a fertility monitor and we started BDing more often. In February I had another chemical pregnancy. Because I tested so early I got the faint positive with another light AF. I had my hormone levels checked and everything was coming back normal. Unrelated to TTC I was experiencing gastro-type problems. My stomach was so bloated I looked 5 months pregnant. To try to find the problem, my Dr ordered all three U/S to check for blockages, pregnancy, cysts, and fibroids. Everything came back normal except that my uterine lining was only 5.7mm at 3DPO. The following month I had BW done at 11DPO. My progesterone was only 1.7mg. I make an appt for an infertility workup May 2009. A few days before the appt I start getting the faint positives again along with the usual symptoms of pg. A lot of pain during BD, nausea, dizzy spells, sore boobs. This new Dr makes me wait 2 hrs, walks in, and sits at the computer so he can place the order for all the tests. I had been saving my data from my cycles, previous test results, and notes. After all, it did take me over a month just to get this appt. Well, since I had been getting faint positives, he changed the appt from an infertility workup to a new OB appt. As the nurse said, it was a lot quicker than a work up. The Dr didn't even address my issues of thin lining and low progesterone and told me he would put me on Clomid/Progesterone if this bean didn't stick. How can you make that assumption without even looking at my history? BW came back BFN and it was like pulling teeth to get the Dr to pursue further treatment. I decided that I deserved better treatment from my Dr and fired him. The Nurse had the nerve to tell me I need to understand how busy he is. Regardless of how busy my Dr is, I have the right to be treated like a person and to have someone understand how strong my desire to have a family is and what I have been through emotionally. 3 chemical pregnancies in 6 months can really start to take a toll on you. The hardest part is my Dr didn't call to tell me I had thin lining or a low progesterone level. I had to figure that out on my own. I have online access to all test results. When I got them back, I researched online to find what was normal. It also helped asking Dr Q and Dr Eva. Now that all my hormone levels were normal, except for the progesterone and I know I ovulate. the question was-where do we go from here? Will anyone be able to help me make my dream a reality? My friend tells me about this hormone balancing cream she used to get pregnant with her son. She tried for 3 years and got pregnant after using the cream for 3 months. Coincidence? Should I check it out? I did and loved it the very first month! I always ovulated but very late. I ovulated CD24-CD26 and my cycles were running as long as 39 days. So waiting 6 weeks just for AF to rear her ugly head was wearing on me. I am the research queen and learned all about this cream. Each dose of the cream delivers 20mg directly into the fatty tissue. This type of progesterone comes from the natural progesterone derived from a plant and is the closest to the type of progesterone produced by the body. As with anything, I am not advocating this and strongly encourage ANYONE reading my journey to consult your Dr before doing anything like this. So I decide, hey it's natural and it couldn't hurt-right? The instructions say to use it CD12-CD26. From what I know about progesterone is that you only take it once you have ovulated or it can prevent ovulation. I start thinking that I should wait to start it until CD22 since I ovulate so late. But then, I start thinking I should follow the instructions so it can balance out my system. I start it CD12 and would you know I get AF CD25!!! I didn't ovulate that month, but to have a cycle less than 5 weeks was amazing in itself! That brings us to this month. I was ecstatic that my cycles were balancing out, but then I get nervous. I am going to visit my grandmother in FL June 24-28. CD16-19. Would that month be a bust? We BD our little hearts out. We make sure we BD CD14-15. The OPKs until the day I leave are getting darker, but no true +++ yet. Would you know I get a + OPK the night before I come home? I get excited because I will O the day I fly home. My excitement was cut short when ovulation pains overwhelm me while my plane lands in Houston Sunday evening. Around 5pm (PST) my plane lands in Houston and I have to catch my connecting flight to come home to Las Vegas. As people stand up to get their luggage ready, I can barely move. I pray to God that he takes this pain away. He is slow to respond and I am also slow to walk through the airport. I pray that no one bumps me as I waddle my way through the airport. Within 15 minutes, the pain subsides. But there is no denying that was ovulation! After I get home, DH tells me how tired is....I almost got a little ghetto on him at that moment. With the pain I just had, the most you can do buddy is make a deposit in the bank of Shelly. LOL That brings us to the here and now. 5DPO and have all the normal symptoms. Is is the progesterone? Is it in my head? Or could there be a little bean taking up residence? Could my dream of holding my little one in my arms and feeling a love I have never known become a reality? To anyone frustrated and afraid it will never happen, don't give up hope--for hope is all we have to hold onto. I have made so many wonderful friends here and you have given me the encouragement and love just when I need it.
Babydust to you all!
I had to recreate a new account. A little break from FT was just what I needed for a little while. Today is 13DPO. Temp is 98.15. I am very hopeful this cycle! I keep going to the bathroom expecting spotting but nothing! I pray AF stays away! I have my follow up appt tomorrow and I leave for a womens retreat and will be gone all weekend. It will be so nice to get away and relax! I am thinking if AF was coming tomorrow, my temps would be going down. I took my temp at 8pm just for the heck of it and it was 99.57. They are vag temps so a little higher! But this cycle was just so perfect!
Babydust to you all!
I had to recreate a new account. A little break from FT was just what I needed for a little while. Today is 13DPO. Temp is 98.15. I am very hopeful this cycle! I keep going to the bathroom expecting spotting but nothing! I pray AF stays away! I have my follow up appt tomorrow and I leave for a womens retreat and will be gone all weekend. It will be so nice to get away and relax! I am thinking if AF was coming tomorrow, my temps would be going down. I took my temp at 8pm just for the heck of it and it was 99.57. They are vag temps so a little higher! But this cycle was just so perfect!
September 25, 2009