September 10, 2009
hello.. i think most of you know me as squeezybear :).. but i dont mind you calling me Kate.. my Df calls me squeezybear lol.
well i decided to update my journey.. for a few reasons.. the biggest reason being.. that ticker of the twins growing.. it killed me to press on my journey and see the babies growing...
as most of you know.. i was preggers with twins... i found out july 10th i was preg :).. had my first scan 5 days later.. it was amazing.. and a huge shock.. there was two sacs?? twins?? :) i was so happy, but nervous too.. but i was in love with them so much already..
i went to every scan, 5 weeks, 8 weeks, 10, 12 (i found out baby A was a girl), and emergency one at 13 weeks (was confirmed two little girls) everything looked ok.. my twins passed away at 14 weeks... :( i went in as normal.. i got strapped up.. they put the thing on my tummy... i saw my girls.. but they werent moving like they usually do.. i thought ok.. maybe there both sleeping.. but the placenta looked odd.. like flat or something..
then i realised... there was no flicker of a heart beat like b4.. my heart stopped.. i held my breath.. i was so still thinking maybe i was moving.. then when i realised what was happening.. what the nurse was about to say my stomach felt like it had been hit very hard..
my girls... gone :( last week they were jumping about,, both alive.. i dont understand...
they spent 30 mins looking.. but i knew my girls had grown wings and left.. some where without pain.
they gave me i choice to stay there and have them then with a c section, or take medicin and come back the next day and have them naturally.. so i chose to have them naturally..
i went home rang DF told him.. he drove through the night to get home :) bless my sweetheart, and he made it home at 5 am and was there for me.. i went in at 7am i felt the contractions.. at 8 am little Ava was born.. then shortly after at 8:02 came Angela.. both perfect and mommies angels..
its been a hard road.. but i find comfort knowing my angels are no longer in pain.. and i know, they know i love them, and so does my DF :)
my live has changed alot in the past few days.. and its hard but i try to look at the sunshine rather than the rain... and i know it will get better with my love of my life at my side and great friends
i love my DF David, Lily and my angels Ava and Angela
thanks ladies for all your support on here.. i dunno what id do without u.. i love ya all x
Kate
well i decided to update my journey.. for a few reasons.. the biggest reason being.. that ticker of the twins growing.. it killed me to press on my journey and see the babies growing...
as most of you know.. i was preggers with twins... i found out july 10th i was preg :).. had my first scan 5 days later.. it was amazing.. and a huge shock.. there was two sacs?? twins?? :) i was so happy, but nervous too.. but i was in love with them so much already..
i went to every scan, 5 weeks, 8 weeks, 10, 12 (i found out baby A was a girl), and emergency one at 13 weeks (was confirmed two little girls) everything looked ok.. my twins passed away at 14 weeks... :( i went in as normal.. i got strapped up.. they put the thing on my tummy... i saw my girls.. but they werent moving like they usually do.. i thought ok.. maybe there both sleeping.. but the placenta looked odd.. like flat or something..
then i realised... there was no flicker of a heart beat like b4.. my heart stopped.. i held my breath.. i was so still thinking maybe i was moving.. then when i realised what was happening.. what the nurse was about to say my stomach felt like it had been hit very hard..
my girls... gone :( last week they were jumping about,, both alive.. i dont understand...
they spent 30 mins looking.. but i knew my girls had grown wings and left.. some where without pain.
they gave me i choice to stay there and have them then with a c section, or take medicin and come back the next day and have them naturally.. so i chose to have them naturally..
i went home rang DF told him.. he drove through the night to get home :) bless my sweetheart, and he made it home at 5 am and was there for me.. i went in at 7am i felt the contractions.. at 8 am little Ava was born.. then shortly after at 8:02 came Angela.. both perfect and mommies angels..
its been a hard road.. but i find comfort knowing my angels are no longer in pain.. and i know, they know i love them, and so does my DF :)
my live has changed alot in the past few days.. and its hard but i try to look at the sunshine rather than the rain... and i know it will get better with my love of my life at my side and great friends
i love my DF David, Lily and my angels Ava and Angela
thanks ladies for all your support on here.. i dunno what id do without u.. i love ya all x
Kate
September 10, 2009