My faith is slipping

Hi Shilo, many of us have felt that way at one time or another. God works in mysterious ways. I don't think you are being punished....perhaps tested, but not punished. One day you will be holding your very own precious baby and everything will make sense.

Wishing you loads of lucks and sending lots of baby dust.

You know I have felt the same exact way for almost four years; I mean even though I tried to say I had faith, inside my faith was wearing very thin. Everytime I think I am close another door slams in my face. But you know I think God knows we are mothers, I dont believe God would put this special urning in our hurts without a beautiful blessing waiting for us.So just know that we are going threw hell, or that is how it seems but God is there; we are just the chosen ones, chosen to prove how much we want to be mothers. One day we will :) May God Bless you at this difficult time in your life, May he sprinkle babydust all around you**********Good Luck Future Mother

I just thought this was it for sure. 3 days late, I've been sick, tired, eating everything and smelling everything...then I started to get cramps this afternoon and sure enough here's AF. I don't even want to try anymore. It hurts to much. Now I have a big fat headache because I've been crying for 4 hours!

God may test you, but will NEVER forsake you..

Shilo same thing happened to me last month.My AF came ,I cried for hours.Nothing changed ,i had to start again.It hurts a lot .Trying ..Failing ..trying ...I sometimes think "will this ever end ?" U are not alone.So many out here going through the same times.Many of them who were in our position used to think the same.But SEE they are gonna be MAMA soon.So we should also hope that our though times will last and SOON....

Forgot to tell u I posted "LOOSING HOPE......" on 29th oct when I AF showed up.I am very scared this time too.

I don't think I'm right for this. I suffer from depression and I've been off my meds for almost a year. I don't think I can take much more heartache. I think I'm going to give up on my dreams of being a mom and start my meds again. The funny thing is, these past 3 days that AF was late and I thought I was pregnant...I've never felt more at peace.

we've been trying for almost 2 decades, and I feel you. It hurts so bad every time AF comes, and I cry, and then pick myself up and try again.

I agree that some women like hookers, crackheads, etc don't deserve children. The ones that make me see total red is the ones that kill their babies--and plead post-partum or some stuff like that--and some of them actually get off! This upsets me so much that I want to blow their heads off...they can only kill me once, but those dead children will NOT have died in vain!

Shilo, Have you seen a Dr ? So many of us here have gotten preggo only with a lil assistance.

I'm going to the Dr. on the 26th. I hope it's not a huge problem (or an expensive one).

Last month my AF was also late,I felt pregnant ...

I had so many dreams and planning in those two days...But AF shattered all..

lol...Me and hubby were fighting over baby names last night. Isn't that stupid??? I didn't even know for sure but I just knew that I was pregnant. I can't explain the feeling. It was like a sense of peace and that everything was right...then today I WOKE UP!!!

U know what ,Those two I was climbing the stairs with so much precuation and was not lifting anything heavy...

I thought the first thing I'll do next morning is HPT but I didn't knew that the first thing I will do is " SEE MY AF " ,lol!

Hi Shilo:

Don't give up on your dream. It can be both very frustrating as well as depressing especially when you suffer from depression. Take some time out for yourself, soak in a nice bubble bath with some lit candles, close your eyes and just pray. God hears all your prayers, but he doesn't always answer them when we want, he answers them when the time is right. Your time will come soon, just believe and have faith. There might be a great struggle in trying to conceive but just think of the great reward at the end of the long hard road you are currently travelling. We are all in the same boat. Waiting for our day to come. Taking fertility treatments among other things to help us conceive. I've been trying now for a little over 2 years, but I refuse to give up hope. We are all here for you. Lots of babydust to you and keep us posted.

Oh Shilo,

I Know what you mean... I've had the same thoughts. I too don't know why God is testing me/us! I've been trying to figure out what lesson I'm suppose to learn from this... I'm still wondering! I'm thinking he's testing my Faith in him!! I think it's making me a better, stronger, more mature person..He's definetly making me learn PATIENCE!! It's frusturating @ times. We can't lose HOPE or let our dreams go...It will Happen for you, just not as soon as we'd like!! **BABY**DUST**

Hun, I got a question and please, don't take offense..but are your doctors all talking to each other? Going off your meds for a year is risky at best. I think you need to get all your doctors together for a sitdown so everybody is singing from the same songbook. I am on drugs for bipolar and I made darn sure all my doctors talk to each other...that's one of the things that gives me the strength to try again and again.

Weyr,

Actually my ob gyn has given me wellbutrin xl for depression. I don't have a family Dr.

I have an ob gyn appointment on the 26th. I am almost completely certain that I have endometriosis (spelling). My hubby asked me today what I want for Christmas and I said that I want the surgery to correct whatever infertility problem I have and he said ok. I just want 1 child...that's all I ask for. That would be the best Christams present ever!!!! I don't ask for much just for the right to give birth, that's what we as women are here for. The ability to bring more lives into this world. I feel like I am not a woman because I have not been able to give my husband a child. I feel that he should leave me and find someone who can give him a child. I don't feel that I should even be alive if I can't do the one simple job that I'm supposed to do as a woman. I need some help. I can't get over this. I feel so worthless!!!

Hi Shilo:

Let me ask you this, if you were not worth anything to anyone, would God have given his only son to die for you and all of us? I have had issues with depression in the past myself, but I turned to my faith in God and believe me, God has been there for me even when I felt I was all alone. God is definately there for you sweetie as are all the ladies on this site. Don't give up, I have a feeling that your time is near. Can't explain it but all I can say is just trust in God and you will receive the answer to your prayers and dreams. By the way, your hubby seems to be quite supportive, you need to be more open with your man on how you are feeling and I'm sure he will be a constant strength for you. It will happen for you, just don't lose faith.

hi shilo, please dont be so hard on yourself what do u think about addoption there are so many babys out there that could do with a mum like you i think that might be what some of us are here for but still please dont give up tryin

Hold it...a OB-GYN prescribed wellbutrin? Hun, I really think you should get a referral to a psychiatrist. He can more accurately help you with the depression and secondary/tertiary issues that springs from it. I've never heard of a OB-GYN doing that...but then, that's just me. Seriously, hun, think about it, okay. Take a break; it'll help you to relax and regroup. (((HUGS)))

I don't think there's anything wrong with an ob/gyn prescribing Wellbutrin. I know that family practice/internal med. docs prescribe anti-depressants, so an OB should be okay to prescribe it as well. With that said, it prob. wouldn't be a bad idea to see a psychiatrist and possibly a behavioral therapist who can monitor you.

Take care of yourself, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Lots of hugs,

Jen