April 23, 2009
Ladies or whoever would like to read:
I guess this journey has been a long tough one. From the start Rich and I we’re on and off for awhile but I always knew I loved him and it was meant to be. We just had to find our own ways into each other’s hearts. Finally we got married after nearly 6+ years being together. We were trying so hard to NOT get pregnant because we both wanted to be married THAN have children. Well things aren’t happening the way we thought they would happen. We got pregnant exactly one year to the date almost from trying but sadly lost our little angel at around 4 ½ weeks along. Now here I sit almost another year into this journey and getting hopeless. I know people say don’t worry or don’t stress it’ll happen when you least expect it but in reality they never had to deal with infertility at all, so who are they to speak about relaxing and don’t worry about it? My point exactly! Here I sit watching everyone around me get pregnant not even married or got married because they found out they were pregnant and to me that isn’t right. You are to get married because you love the one your with and you couldn’t imagine yourself without them. Not because they knocked you up and you think that’s the best thing to do, when in reality it isn’t. You can always get married down the road! But anyways here I sit watching my friends my sister in law all of them pregnant and some deserve their little bundle of joys and the others it’s just the thought of having a baby not actually the experience or becoming a mommy that excites them. It makes me so angry and peeved because I, WE want this and I know once our child comes he/she is coming with love, and us wanting them here from WAY before they we’re even thought of! I guess after what 22 months of trying I am almost or I am at my BREAKING POINT! I am the person who always cared about others and what others thought of me- I’m done with that! I will no longer care about others that don’t care about me and I will no longer care what people think of me! I am going to learn to speak my mind regardless who I am speaking too! If everyone else can do it to me and expect me to keep my mouth shut forget it now because you’re going to hear from me NOW! I guess Rich (DH) and I are done trying. I no longer can keep going, it’s too heart breaking month after month and to have no family around me when I need them the most is hard too. I have my in-laws but that gets me nowhere when I’m emotional besides MORE emotional because they can’t seem to say anything ‘right’. Since they’re daughter is pregnant and having the first grand-baby for DH side that’s all they care about. And she rubs it in my face each time I see her. So you know what- I don’t even think I’m giving her the baby shower gift I may just keep it and see what else I can do with it? I do have plenty friends who are pregnant with boys that DESERVE it! I guess I’m done venting and I hope our vacation to FL next week helps us fall back in love and will maybe help us conceive since we aren’t ‘trying’ *wink*
I thank you ladies for reading this and listening to me rant and rave! Sometimes it’s what we ladies have to do to stay sane!!!! Lol
♥ Laurie ♥
I guess this journey has been a long tough one. From the start Rich and I we’re on and off for awhile but I always knew I loved him and it was meant to be. We just had to find our own ways into each other’s hearts. Finally we got married after nearly 6+ years being together. We were trying so hard to NOT get pregnant because we both wanted to be married THAN have children. Well things aren’t happening the way we thought they would happen. We got pregnant exactly one year to the date almost from trying but sadly lost our little angel at around 4 ½ weeks along. Now here I sit almost another year into this journey and getting hopeless. I know people say don’t worry or don’t stress it’ll happen when you least expect it but in reality they never had to deal with infertility at all, so who are they to speak about relaxing and don’t worry about it? My point exactly! Here I sit watching everyone around me get pregnant not even married or got married because they found out they were pregnant and to me that isn’t right. You are to get married because you love the one your with and you couldn’t imagine yourself without them. Not because they knocked you up and you think that’s the best thing to do, when in reality it isn’t. You can always get married down the road! But anyways here I sit watching my friends my sister in law all of them pregnant and some deserve their little bundle of joys and the others it’s just the thought of having a baby not actually the experience or becoming a mommy that excites them. It makes me so angry and peeved because I, WE want this and I know once our child comes he/she is coming with love, and us wanting them here from WAY before they we’re even thought of! I guess after what 22 months of trying I am almost or I am at my BREAKING POINT! I am the person who always cared about others and what others thought of me- I’m done with that! I will no longer care about others that don’t care about me and I will no longer care what people think of me! I am going to learn to speak my mind regardless who I am speaking too! If everyone else can do it to me and expect me to keep my mouth shut forget it now because you’re going to hear from me NOW! I guess Rich (DH) and I are done trying. I no longer can keep going, it’s too heart breaking month after month and to have no family around me when I need them the most is hard too. I have my in-laws but that gets me nowhere when I’m emotional besides MORE emotional because they can’t seem to say anything ‘right’. Since they’re daughter is pregnant and having the first grand-baby for DH side that’s all they care about. And she rubs it in my face each time I see her. So you know what- I don’t even think I’m giving her the baby shower gift I may just keep it and see what else I can do with it? I do have plenty friends who are pregnant with boys that DESERVE it! I guess I’m done venting and I hope our vacation to FL next week helps us fall back in love and will maybe help us conceive since we aren’t ‘trying’ *wink*
I thank you ladies for reading this and listening to me rant and rave! Sometimes it’s what we ladies have to do to stay sane!!!! Lol
♥ Laurie ♥
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April 24, 2009