November 16, 2009
I had the great opportunity to ask some questions to Melissa Ford founder of the blog Stirrup Queens and author of the book, Navigating the Land of If: Understanding infertility and exploring your options. Melissa shares her experiences with infertility, and through her blog and book has been able to help many others going through this Journey.
I'll be adding more questions and answers from the interview every day this week. Melissa will also be answering questions that you may have, feel free to post them below.
Each day, we'll be giving a FREE copy of Melissa's book. The lucky winner will be chosen among those who post questions and/or comments on this thread. Make sure to share your thoughts and ask questions, Melissa will check this post each day this week, plus get a chance to win her book!
FertilityTies.com: If you had to go through your TTC Journey all over again, is there anything that you would do differently and why?
Melissa Ford:
Well, we're still in the process of family building so it's a work in progress, but I think the thing I have finally started to do which I wish I had been doing from the beginning is that I've stopped beating myself up for who I am. I'm a worrier by nature and I constantly need to talk things out. I saw these as bad traits and when you're sent the message of "just relax and it will happen" you certainly pick up on the idea that others view this as a negative way to live.
So I was beating myself up for infertility AND I was beating myself up for the way I processed infertility. Once I stopped doing that, once I allowed myself my worrying time without guilt, once I stopped caring what others thought about the way I handled infertility (which is a life crisis) and only considered how I thought I was handling infertility, I became a happier person. It didn't actually help me conceive or bring me closer to that goal, but it did address the emotional side of infertility.
FertilityTies.com: How do you think some of the negative media the Fertility industry has received via the Octomom, labs mixing embryos etc., has affected women’s infertility Journeys? How can they overcome this?
Melissa Ford:
The media seems to love a good fringe story that they use to make sweeping generalizations about fertility treatments in general. I think it's damaging because the general public is learning misinformation and the overriding message is that women who utilize fertility treatments are crazy and the fertility doctors irresponsible. It takes a series of medical treatments and paints them as dangerous rather than life-creating.
I don't think the common person can do much to change the media beyond writing letters to the editor, but they can counterbalance that information by talking about infertility with friends and family, making sure they understand the facts rather than assumptions about fertility treatments (and, in that vein, also adoption, donor gametes, and living child-free after infertility).
I'll be adding more questions and answers from the interview every day this week. Melissa will also be answering questions that you may have, feel free to post them below.
Each day, we'll be giving a FREE copy of Melissa's book. The lucky winner will be chosen among those who post questions and/or comments on this thread. Make sure to share your thoughts and ask questions, Melissa will check this post each day this week, plus get a chance to win her book!
FertilityTies.com: If you had to go through your TTC Journey all over again, is there anything that you would do differently and why?
Melissa Ford:
Well, we're still in the process of family building so it's a work in progress, but I think the thing I have finally started to do which I wish I had been doing from the beginning is that I've stopped beating myself up for who I am. I'm a worrier by nature and I constantly need to talk things out. I saw these as bad traits and when you're sent the message of "just relax and it will happen" you certainly pick up on the idea that others view this as a negative way to live.
So I was beating myself up for infertility AND I was beating myself up for the way I processed infertility. Once I stopped doing that, once I allowed myself my worrying time without guilt, once I stopped caring what others thought about the way I handled infertility (which is a life crisis) and only considered how I thought I was handling infertility, I became a happier person. It didn't actually help me conceive or bring me closer to that goal, but it did address the emotional side of infertility.
FertilityTies.com: How do you think some of the negative media the Fertility industry has received via the Octomom, labs mixing embryos etc., has affected women’s infertility Journeys? How can they overcome this?
Melissa Ford:
The media seems to love a good fringe story that they use to make sweeping generalizations about fertility treatments in general. I think it's damaging because the general public is learning misinformation and the overriding message is that women who utilize fertility treatments are crazy and the fertility doctors irresponsible. It takes a series of medical treatments and paints them as dangerous rather than life-creating.
I don't think the common person can do much to change the media beyond writing letters to the editor, but they can counterbalance that information by talking about infertility with friends and family, making sure they understand the facts rather than assumptions about fertility treatments (and, in that vein, also adoption, donor gametes, and living child-free after infertility).
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November 16, 2009