BETA confirmed BFN, big surprise, lol!

You've got to be pulling your hair out Wendy. You are so amazingly strong and I've got to say your upbeat attitude is incredible. Are they thinking about going in to get rid of the cyst or will they just make you ride it out until it goes away? Good luck to you. Hope AF starts pronto so you can move on to new cycle.

Thanks Reah, think they are gonna try BC pills 1st if it's still there & really I am kinda ready. Need an emotional break from all of this as I feel like the + attitude is starting to feel forced, lol!! Seriously, think while on the BCP I will feel more relaxed about trying to loose some weight as I always feel anxious about working out while TTC.

How are you doing??

I'm doing good. I think I mentioned to you at one point that I had RE appt and am waiting for AF so that we can schedule bloodwork and tests. Actually 7DPO and staying positive. I'm thinking about breaking myself. I am not on the meds yet like you are so can only imagine that you are drained emotionally as well as physically.

I totally know what you mean about the working out when TTC, my DH and I were talking, and we both agreed that everytime I get to this point in my cycle we are doing a lot of walking and that sort of thing and I told him I feel like I should be sitting somewhere with my feet up!!! Probably not but sightseeing power walking may not be the way to go either and our timing stinks!! Last night I took a major spill off of my bike and all I keep thinking today is....oh great way to take care of yourself Rae!!!

I know what you mean. While we were on vacation week before last I came to the point of being one day late & just so happened that that same day we did some major walking on the beach to reach a point no reachable by the road PLUS while there I took a hard fall on my rear which made me hurt in the pelvic region. Spotted that night & the next day & then nothing after that. Kinda put a damper on the rest of the vacation cause I was scared to do too much, always JUST IN CASE, lol! I get so sick of thinking "just in case" ya know?

I woke up in a better mood this morning & actualy am feeling like I will welcome being on BC for a few months :)

Also, think I read on another post that you had decided not to take clomid? Is that right?

I am so sorry WendyLou

im sorry you are going thru all this crap wendylou! I think the b/c pills are a good idea for you - they worked for me when i was younger for sure, excpet that i gain weight while on them - urg!

I took the b/c plls b4 my IVF and they worked like a charm - i took them for 2 weeks and sure enough 3 days after stopping them i had a bleed - weird!

Thanks ladies, it does stink but I was not expecting to be preggo anyway. They did the beta before starting provera to induce my period. (Just in casem haha! Even the nurses say it, lol!) Will be on the BC pills for a couple of months if the cyst is still there.

The worst part of all of it is just letting those little feelings of self doubt get to me-like why can't I be normal? My mom is one of ten kids & she had a sister that could not have children while all of the other brothers & sisters had 2 or 3 kids each & I find myself understanding now how she must have felt. She did go on to adopt a baby girl years later though :)

same feelings here - i had 2 kids from a previous marriage and my DH and i would love to have kids 2gether, he loves my kids and treats them as his own but i know that each month with a negative test or another m/c he feels more and more worse and i feel like "why cant i give him the thing he wants and deserves".

Me too Chels, I know I shouldn't & deep down in my heart I know DH does not blame me but I feel like I am letting him down every single month :( It's just so frustrating to not have control over this!

That's my exact feelings as far as the letting him down part. We are always commenting to each other when we see babies out and he will even say (cute and kiddingly , of course) "Ok I'll grab the baby, you grab the car!!!" But the look on his face is kind of heartbreaking, just a real look of longing. I hope that if we are able to adopt that is enough sometimes. I really hope that we'll just get lucky and have our baby together.

I am seriously considering no meds at this point. I am so afraid of all of the side effects that go along with. I am terrified due to my mom's young ovarian cancer diagnosis and subsequent death. Another thing that I can't get out of my head is that she actually started having problems with periods and whatnot when she was pretty much exactly my age now and when the surgeons removed her cancer and did radical hysterectomy they mentioned to me and my father that based on the size of the tumor and the way that it had spread they thought she had it for appx 10 years. That means that at the start of her problems with heavy cycles and premenopausal symptoms the cancer could have been a factor. She would have been 39 then, that is my exact age. I don't mean to seem irrational but my visit with the RE only me made this more of a concern. And she specifically told me that due to maternal cancer she would not recommend Clomid for more than 3 rounds.

Has anyone ever put a limit on how many rounds they would try? I would be interested to know.

most docs wont let you do more than 6 rounds due to issues it can cause. I would say this rae - wether or not you are trying to have a baby your body should work right and you should "fix" it. We, as women, are suppose to have periods and ovulate, its what we do. And if we dont we should figure out why and try to fix it the best we can due to all the things you talked about in your post above. I was on b/c for a year when i was in HS and it "fixed" my issues, i got a regualr period while on it and then when i got off i had a cycle of 31/32 days every month. THEN i went back on later in life for 6 or 7 years and it SCREWED me up so bad! I was going into fake menopuse or whatever when i was 32. My hormones were out of wack and i felt like hell. My doc begged me to get off the b/c and within a few months my hormones were fine and i felt a heck of a lot better. I still think that i am having issues due to the pill.

As much as you want a baby im sure that you want to be around for your baby so maybe no meds at this point would be best OR just try the clomid for 3 rounds and then no more. OR try every other month with clomid?

Take care rae.

Thanks for the info Chels, didn't know about the Clomid. The one thing that I probably should have added is that I actually do have a regular 28 day cycle and I ovulate on my own on CD14 monthly. The RE was recommending the Clomid to help increase chances by producing more eggs. That in itself is another reason I am hesitant. I am afraid to mess up the regularity. I like the every other month idea. Wendy, Chels, did you have side effects after each cycle? or is it like a situation where the symptoms happen after it builds up in system? Probably should have thought to ask RE this sorry.

Are you experiencing the same kind of things that your mom was ReaH? I expect that your docs are checking for this closer since you have a history of it in your immed family??? Hope so anyway! Not sure about others having a limit put on the usage other than the standard 6 months (not working for you if not PG by then). Maybe post a ?? to others about this....

Have you thought about trying accupuncture or herbal supplements? Seen others on this site doing that. Have they determined yet what is keeping you from getting PG? Is IUI & IVF out of the ? for you?

Hoping things get better for you soon!

Haha, it takes me so long to type anything in cause of all the interuptions at work that Chels got her answer in 1st! Sorry for any repeat info & yes, Reah, I did have symptoms with the Clomid but they were not awful & def will not keep me from using it again:) The worst one was insomnia for the 1st month that I used it but it was much better the 2nd round:))

Wendy-absolutely no probs with me whatsoever other than not getting PG. My OB/GYN monitors me due to family history with a simple vaginal ultrasound and all is clear.

Wasn't sure what the standard was for Clomid thanks for the info. Seems like six is the norm so RE was thinking half of that for me. Chels mentioned every other month, I am going to see what RE thinks of that.

Have thought about accupuncture and supplements. Will be doing more research on that too.

Things could be so much worse for me, I feel bad complaining and do realize that my situation is pretty good compared to alot of others on this TTC rollercoaster......I think the fact that my biological clock is spinning makes me impatient!!!

Think we all hear the tick tick, so no worries, complain away-that's what we're here for :)Goodness knows I do my share, lol!

I know that the RE will give you a break in between months on the clomid if a cyst delevopes so I don't see why that would not be an option for you. Who knows, mayeb one round is all it will take & you'll get your BFP right away:)))

Glad to hear that you are being watched a little closer, though, scary stuff & I can def understand your concerns. Chels is right, not worth having a child if you cannot be around to love & nurture it through out it's life...

*Meant to say not worth risking your life to have a child-sorry:)) Am sure your DH would agree:)

Hey Rae - you sound a lot like me! I too, have a regular cycle but jsut am not getting preggo. We went to the big stuff 1st so i have never taken clomid before. i went straight to the injections and IUI then after 2 of those went thru 2 IVF rounds. I ovulate every month and had sex on the right days every time and got preggo once on our own and lost it :(

anyway, i am worried that with all the crap that i put my body thru that i messed it up but (knock on wood) my body always seems to bounce back and does what it should. I think that my body is ticked off at me for all i put it thru this last year and maybe if im nice to it for a few months it will give me what i want! LOL!

I had some small side effects with the injections so i assume the clomid will be way easier for me to handle (hopefully). I was bloated and cranky with the injections but not nauseous which they say can come with Clomid - gosh i HATE felling sick o my tummy!

There is also a med called "femera" that is similar to clomid but some have better luck with that but i think that is more for the ladies with PCOS. Clomid tricks your ovaries into thinking that you dont have enough estrogen and so your fertility brain says "pump up the estrogen" and then thats why you make more eggs, better or stronger eggs or for the PCOS ladies, an egg at all.

At least thats how i understood clomid to work :)