adoption? or one of my own?

bump for Val

wow dc9 that is a HUGE decision. I think it really shows how good of a person you are that you would even consider it!

I do not think there is anything wrong with it at all

if you can handle it and dont think it will be a problem to explain it in the future I will say it is up to you and God Bless you!

If we ever considered adoption I would still ttc to have a child that is from me but treat all the children the same

Let us know what you decide babe

Its definitely a huge decision DC! I think you will be able to handle two (if you really want to). I know several people (not very well...) that have adopted while TTC.

Its up to you and what you feel is right...update us when you make a decision! i know you guys may be trying to decide for a while

For me, the hardest part of making this sort of decision is that you are friends with this baby's grandmother (your friend) and her daughter...so would you have the child grow up knowing he/she is adopted? Would you want your friends daughter to see this baby? I think adoption is a beautiful thing and that babies who are adopted are special cause they are "chosen" :) Good luck with this decision :) Oh and if I remember correctly we have a member on here who adopted and did in fact get preggers while that was taking place. :)

Sara, The "Grandma" and I aren't really close friends, we see each other maybe once every other year, and send Christmas cards. As far as telling the child they are adopted, YES! My friend and her hubby have adopted five children, and they all know and understand that they are adopted. There one son told me that adoption made him special. I asked why, and he said "Cuz they picked me, so that means they love me! When people have babies, they are stuck with what they get. Even if that kid is ugly!" :) Three of the five knew they were adopted, but were adopted when they were infants, so didn't understand. They adopted a set of twins 4 years ago, so now the other ones understand better. The twins were 10, so it was mommy and daddy brought home another baby from somewhere. (which is what the older two thought when they brought home the baby!) :)

Ultimately only you and your dh know what is right for you, but I would discourage you for two reasons, neither of which has to do with ttc.

I agree with Sar that knowing the baby's family might be too awkward, especially because you would want to be in total control of your child's adoption story with such a sensitive background.

In addition, you sound as if your dh is not sure and that is not what is best for this baby, maybe another family might be an option for your friends.

When the time is right it will happen for you... I was offered an opportunity like this at the wrong time in my life, and I am glad I didn't take it. So if you have any doubts at all, I wouldn't, even though it is hard to let this pass you by.

My hubby is all for adopting, but what he isn't sure about is can I take care of two newborns if it came down to it. We would have to rely on family to help out, and I HATE asking for help!

The good news is my inlaws live a mile away, and my three sisters live about 15 miles away. My mom is about 30, so I know I have the help if I need it. What it will essentially come down to is if I am pg when the baby comes, he said we cannot take the baby, because it could jepordize my health and that of my child's.

bump for Katie