New comments on 'what i refer to as a saga, but is more like a lifestyle'

New comment from CK

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:00:40 -0600

Hey Bobby,

I know you havent been on in awhile but I wanted to stop by and say hello. Hope you are doing good, miss talking to you!

CK

New comment from CK

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:35:06 -0600

Hello sweet friend.

Wanted to check on you and see how you were doing. As you know, AF has arrived and she's sloooowly going away now. I plan to use my opk's this month just to get an idea of if my cycles have changed any. I figure it may take a couple months for it to be normal again.

I have my appointment with the new Rheumatologist doc on Feb 24th - that was the first date they had available. Until then, I am just hanging out. I'm thinking of you and hope you're doing well sweetie.

New comment from CK

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:08:17 -0600

ps - Still love that little kitty in the picture! Puts a smile on my face!

New comment from CK

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:58:09 -0600

Hey,

We have been married only 6 months and started TTC only after 1 month of marriage. Since I am already 28 we wanted to get on it right away. We have only tried naturally and got pregnant in 3 months. After the miscarriage is when I remembered about those clotting tests (out of NO where) so that's when I consulted help. I am hoping I get AF soon still. It's been about 4 1/2 weeks.

I hope you are well & if possible can look into fertility treat or meds soon sweetie, if you want to. All the best to you.

New comment from bforet21

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:10:03 -0600

thank you so much. i hope for all of us, man i can't wait until we can all say that we know what mommy and daddy sound like. are you guys trying to conceive naturally? how long have you been ttc?

we have been married for almost 4 years, may 20 will be our 4 year anniversary. we have wanted a baby since day one, but we didn't try to push the issue (fertility treatments) until after my miscarriage in 09/09, then after the miscarriage we pursued fertility treatments, all ineffective to date. i know something will happen. i'm adopted and i have to believe that i will know what my own flesh and blood is like

bforet21

New comment from CK

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 12:56:45 -0600

bobby, those posts touched my heart and made me tear up... That's exactly how I feel - thankful that even if i never get to have another baby, that at least I was pregnant once. And I can remember what it was like... even if it was only for a short time. It seemed like an eternity to me...

You are so sweet and tender & you really make me feel better about everything that has happened. I hope & pray we are both able to become mommies again soon, and that you find a wonderful doctor who can help you & understand your needs.

New comment from bforet21

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:26:36 -0600

i know it sounds cliche to tell someone, "well, atleast you had that love for a little while", i just wanted to add, that i meant, that atleast for a little while, you knew that joy. i guess that's how i feel now, it's been so many months since i've lost my little one. i should be 32 weeks now. oh i cry, i cry for that baby every time my mind conjures up the image of it all. i feel so uncertain as to whether i will ever be a parent, and i hope to my Lord that i will. but no child will every replace the love i felt, because that was my first. I remember everything i did when i was pregnant, right down to the movies i saw, any mention of the things i did or saw or the places i went, just a whisper of something that occured when i was pregnant, i just lose it. to this day, my heart is still broken. but i see it with a little more gentility now, i guess i see it as if i am grateful that God allowed me to even feel that love at all, i guess i feel that way because i now wonder if i will ever know the joy of being a mother, of pregnancy, of birth, and everything that follows. so i'm pleased that i was given the time i was with my little one, even if it was a short time. because that baby lived, that baby lived in me, and for that i am truly grateful.

bforet21

New comment from bforet21

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:17:22 -0600

hey sweet girl! i hope your doing well. what have you been doing to keep your mind busy? have you been writing in your journal? keep me posted, if you ever want to vent, shout, or cry, i'm just a click away. huggsies to ya!

i'm doing good. i've got a new appt. with a new RE, so i'm really looking forward to that. but i'm frightened as well. i'm so young and i guess i always thought that was on my side, but age is not a factor, PCOS, RH-neg, and luteal phase defects are my factors. it's overwhelming sometimes. i read this post on babycenter, talking about the etiquette of infertility. well, the post really helped me see the motions that i go through and how those motions are completely normal. hmmm....anywho, i guess i'm a little melancholy.

my warmest wishes to you, i hope with all my hope that your desire for a family is fulfilled, and i hope that your heart is healing. i know your love for your little one was so great, but just hang onto the fact that atleast you had that love and you remember how wonderful it was and is. your little lovey is never far away, because that baby will always be in your heart. you will never forget the ultimate joy you felt, how carefully you took care of yourself, and your plans to be a good parent. i don't mean to get religious on you, but I have got you in my prayers.

bforet21

New comment from CK

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 03:06:54 -0600

Hi girl,

Just checking in to see how you are doing. I am doing pretty good today. Keeping my chin up.. Please keep in touch :)

New comment from CK

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 23:10:41 -0600

I have written to the baby once or twice, in a little notebook I have. So I understand. This week just seems to be harder than the other two, maybe because my hormones are finally coming down, or its finally becoming reality. I've heard of two friends who are pregnant, and I keep thinking that should be ME. Or how far along I should be. I keep trying not to think about it & stay positive.

I have an appointment with a Hematologist on Monday, because I found some old bloodwork results that point to a clotting issue, so I hope we can get me on some folate & baby aspirin before we TTC again.

Your words really helped. I appreciate it a lot.

Best wishes to you this coming cycle also. SO happy to hear you are ovulating on your own.

New comment from bforet21

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:56:25 -0600

oh my i'm soooo very sorry for your loss, i had a miscarriage with my one and only pregnancy, i too had to have a d&c. honestly, i still cry for that little one. i'm so sorry i haven't wrote either, i've been on a sit-out cycle, my ovaries were overstimmed, so the doc made me take a month off. but God performed a miracle for us, because i actually ovulated on my own without meds this past month. so that lets me know that he is having mercy on me. i doubt that fertilization happened, but we weren't born to doubt, we were born to have hope, so i try to replace that doubt with hopeful thoughts no matter how hurtful it is.

i just want to extend warm thoughts and well-wishes to you and your family. i hope that your heart mends, just ask your little one to send you and dh a brother or sister. sometimes that makes me feel better. i actually talk to my lost little angel, i know it may sound nuts to some, but i maintain that it truly soothes my heart. i refer to myself as mommy and i just pour my heart out, somehow it makes me feel a little closer to the tiny life that was snatched away so quickly. kind of like a mantra you could try, to calm you when you feel overwhelmed. i hope that there is peace in your heart and you are able to try for a brother/sister soon. hugs!

bforet21

New comment from CK

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:44:28 -0600

Hi Bobbie,

I haven't written in awhile, so I didn't know if you had been on the website. I wanted to let you know I had a miscarriage. I had to have a D&C a couple days before Christmas. It's been really hard, but I'm working through it & hoping for the best.

How are you, how has your TTC journey been going?

New comment from CK

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:38:53 -0600

Sorry AF came! boo! :( :(

I understand, I've been busy too. I still have 3 more nights of work. Then DH and I are traveling to where I grew up for a few days. I just wish these nights at work would go by faster. I work @ a hospital and its been just SO busy...

Am also looking forward to Christmas.. well after christmas cause then I'll be off work!!

New comment from bforet21

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:42:00 -0600

hi chrissy, i got af :( sorry it took me so long to get back to you, my ohss was out of control for awhile there so i didn't get on much. i hope your doing well and feeling wonderful. are you looking forward to christmas? i love cooking christmas dinner, and making it a big to do, i'm looking forward to that i think. take care

bforet21

New comment from CK

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 08:40:15 -0600

Bobbie, have u tested again?? My name is Chrissy. Hope you get your BFP this month!!

New comment from bforet21

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:41:35 -0600

today i'm 9dpo, i got ansty and tested and got a bfn. but again it could be kinda early. thanks so much for the invite. my name's bobbie what's your? how are you feeling? hope all is well

bforet21

New comment from CK

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:17:35 -0600

I have a babycenter account too, but I don't know how to use it yet. lol. Its too complicated for me. I just like to use it to see what is happening week-to-week with the baby. This website is much simpler :)

How many dpo are you?? There are 2 other girls in their 2ww right now also. Nadia and Susu.

New comment from bforet21

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:40:45 -0600

oh what a blessing! i'm so happy to hear that you are beginning your family. that is grand news. i would love to join your thread, is it on your page? i've been using babycenter a lot so i'm still figuring out a lot about fertilityties. i really love this site it's so helpful and the people are so lovely. hope you had a great weekend.

bforet21

New comment from CK

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:33:45 -0600

Hey bforet- I actually got my BFP on Nov 20th. :)

I'm about 7 weeks.

The 2ww is the worst! yuck! I have a thread for ladies around their 20's who are TTC their first baby if you'd like to join. Several are already preggo so there's good vibes!

**baby dust to you** :)

New comment from bforet21

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:34:07 -0600

hi ck, thanks for checkin up. i'm doing well, i'm in the tww, and testing on the 19th so i am praying praying praying. i am suffering from some ohss in my right ovary. but's its just apart of all this. how about you? where are you at in your cycle, or have you already gotten the coveted bfp? i hope all is well with you and you get the family you desire. btw, that's my kitty, we named him kitty. lol. we thought for the longest that he was a girl, but lo and behold he matured. lol. it's funny that we named him kitty, we thought it was like naming a dog, dog. lol. too cute, kinda predictable. lol but he's not a kitty anymore so now it's just funny. hope you have a wonderful weekend

bforet21

what i refer to as a saga, but is more like a lifestyle

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:46:00 -0500

my infertility. i am 24 and can not seem to ovulate. in the beginning of july i fell naturally pregnant. imagine my astonishment, i don't have normal periods and never have and miraculously i became pregnant with our little lovie. unforunately, i lost the baby at the end of august. since then, my husband and i have been on a quest to start our family. we've been married for four years and feel it's time. so we proceed to clomid cd 5-9 50mg/day for five days. nothing, nada, zip. i didn't ovulate. so my dose was increased to 100mg/day for five days. nothing, nada, zip. i didn't ovulate. so they diagnosed me with pcos. and now i'm on gonal f and lupron. i don't know the dosages as i haven't received the rx yet (in the mail) and i couldn't read the doc's lingo. so here i am about to begin the gonal f shots. i am scared, excited, worried, and a managerie of other emotions. i hope that the shots work for me. i worry what will happen if the shots don't work. i wonder if i will have children. i'm crying nonstop. i don't understand what's going on with me. i don't know that i'm ready to accept that i'm infertile. what if i can't make eggs? then that's it, no iui or ivf will help me. you can't have those procedures without an egg. sure there are donor eggs, but i don't know how i feel about that. i think i'm worrying a lot and looking too far into the future. it's just, for the past three months i have heard nothing but bad news. i hear the impatience in that sentence, i know. time, time, time. i'm in a bad place right now, i'm not sure where to go, how to feel, or what to say. i just know that this thing asked for a journey, so here it is. this is my journey. hopefully one day i'll be able to tell my children about this journey and look upon it lovingly.

bforet21