New comments on 'Flutters rollercoster ttc journey'

New comment from jules

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:53:53 -0600

you wrote BFP julie! dis you mean bfn? praying af doesnt show.x

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 06:24:16 -0600

Thanx recurrent with friends like you supporting and encouraging me thru this journey I know I can reach the end and claim my "prize". I may not finish first in the ttc journey butI sure as hell will do all I can to end my journey with a happy and healthy little baby. I know God would not of put the desire to be a mummy in my heart if he could not fullfill that desire.....

Im 14dpo today and I was trying to hold out till 2morro to test but I tested this arvo and it was a bfp...But Im not losing hope till af shows her ugly face and unwanted face. Tho If shes not here by Sunday and still neg hpt I have to start provera to bring her on so I can take a round of clomid so they can harvest eggs if need be when they do my surgery....I need all the bfp dust I can get girls

flutterbyejewels

New comment from Recurrent_MC_chick(is preg w/1surviving twin!!)

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:52:03 -0600

Flutter, I'm so sorry the nurse was so rude to you!! That was so uncalled for what she said to you! My dh when we were ttc sometimes would get so stressed under pressure he couldn't preform well...i.e ejeculate & we would have to take a break & bd again later that day. Fluter don't give up hope you will get that bfp & a sticky bean!! ***babydust*** Keep praying hun! With this pregnancy I told god I was putting this all in his hands & that I trusted him to give me a baby...& well I'm still preg :) ! Miracles do happen & it can/will happen to you! Wether your baby comes from you,donor eggs or adoption you will get a baby! I have been told next baby I will NEED IVF due to my issues & dh's...so I will be in your shoes next baby!

Recurrent_MC_chick(is preg w/1surviving twin!!)

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:50:51 -0600

Oh yeah also quick question for you all. Well 2 questions:

1. We bd this afternoon and he had to stop just as he was "coming" coz it was getting really nervy (sore) for him. When he withdrew his foreskin was pulled half way up his penis and took like half an hr to finally come back down., It was like he got way to 'happy' and 'bursted' out of his 'jacket'. This happens maybe like 3 times a month. Besides for causing him pain is this something we should be concerned about? we are going to mention it next time we see the ivf dr

2. Also this afternoon after bd while waiting for the skin to come back down I noticed that the seman/sperm that was coming out was the way it normly is (a bit thicker then ewcm) but instead it was like a VERY jelly like blobs. Thats the best I can describe it, sorry. What could cause this?

Im going to post a question for dr's but thought Id post here too.

flutterbyejewels

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:42:53 -0600

Thanx girls once again for the support....

I told shane that all it probly was from was coz it had to be a early collection like 7am and we woke up at like 5am to try make sure we where awake enough to "get it on" lmao We are both terrible morning ppl anything b4 6:30am I called "stupid o'clock" :OP And the whole day b4 we had been helping my friend move and didnt get home till like 9pm which ment we didnt get to bed till like 1am so we where exhursted.....

Thanx Caryn for your suggestion about the late sample I may have to ring the clinic to see if they will do that for this test as I know there is a cut of time for which they will accept samples each day. We will most likely be wrking with frozen sperm anyway as depending what this sample shows, it will most likely be a case of actually surgacily removing sperm via a biopsy type procedure to try over come some of the sperm issue.....

flutterbyejewels

New comment from purplefever

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:52:43 -0600

Oh my gosh Flutter that nurse it horrible,

I hope next time you don't have anything like this happen.

purplefever

New comment from Caryn

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:34:45 -0600

Oh Julie- the nurse is an idiot-

You may consider doing what we did- My DH also had issues. We had to do 2 S/a and both came back low- so we moved onto IVF-

One of the nurses suggested we freeze sperm (yes extra $$) but in the end the best for us- here is what happened-

DH needs time to get ya know excited- Guys are very visual and making him get it on in like 10 minutes is not his style- Especially since when we did IUI's they would call and be like the sample needs to be in the office at 7:30am.. and for him.. that was like you are kidding.. 7:30am!

So when we called to get a frozen sample time- the nurse asked us what works- we said afternoons.. So the 2 times we did that- DH took a day from work- and we had a nice relaxing morning and then around noon after lunch got busy..

funny thing is those 2 times, he produced the best samples.. 40 million! and I asked him how come so good.. and he said he was relaxed, no pressure to get it done..

and we froze those samples and used them for IVF and an IUI

I know you are doing yours for a s/a, but maybe the clinic would be more open to you taking your time rather then being rushed...

just a thought

Caryn

New comment from Sar22222

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:08:34 -0600

I agree, he couldn't release cause you both were probably stressing too much about it. Men are like us...if we or they aren't fully relaxed and comfortable, it can be hard.

And the nurse at the clinic is a moron!

Sar22222

New comment from JaimeTTC#1

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:01:37 -0600

I am shocked that anyone would say something like that...it is horrible.

It is quite possible that all the stress involved and the fact that he had to perform under pressure may have given him a problem.

I wish you better luck next week.

JaimeTTC#1

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:28:27 -0600

Grrr Im feeling like such a failure atm. This morning we where ment to do shanes repeat "trial sperm wash/sa" We woke up early had brekkie and then got to it :OP

We have to use a special condom that is given to us by ivf clinic as he experiences bad discomfort with masturbating.

Anyway the condom is so freaking big that I swear a horse's doodle (lol) would fit in it lmao

So any who it is really uncomfortable for me coz thats all I can feel whn we are having sex to get the sample, but I grin and bear it as I know it is all going towards us having a baby.

But then today randomly the condom comes off (we've used the condom 3 times b4 and this has never happened nor have they ever been this big) and well gets stuck in me to the point I had to go to hospital to remove it *blushes*

Anyway after having sex for like 15mins before the condom decided to come off. He was still not ejectulating. We rang ivf clinic and they said try masturbating for a little while till he starts to feel discomfort. They said that the spermie would probly not take much to come as we had been having sex etc

Anyway after he put up with discomfort for 15 mins I still couldnt get those freaking sperm to come out to play grrrr So once again we ring ivf clinic and they tell us to stop trying and come in to see them.

When we get there they exam and do u/s on him to check why the sperm where coming and then turn and say it must be coz Im not pleaseingf him enough...it made me feel so low.

Anyway we complained about the nurse that said that and spoke to someone else and they said it was probly jst a random thing and possibly due to both of us being very tired from moving a friend the day yday.

I know its not my fault but I still feel bad and was already feeling bad and like it was my fault before the nurse said that.

Any way we have re-booked and will try to do test next tuesday again....it will be our last chance for a few wks to do it as my op is coming up so hopefully we can get the sample next wk....

flutterbyejewels

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:29:13 -0600

Thanx ladies I will for sure keep you all posted...

11dpo and still not sure what to think. Im getting all my reg af signs but at the same time I am getting some preg/progesterone signs.

flutterbyejewels

New comment from JaimeTTC#1

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 09:39:53 -0600

Good luck to you Flutter. You really have dealt with a lot through the years. I wish you the best.

JaimeTTC#1

New comment from jules

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:37:29 -0600

yeah good luck, please keep us posted.xo

jules

New comment from Jennifer Wolf

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 20:38:34 -0600

good luck and baby dust flutter!

Jennifer Wolf

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 16:34:21 -0600

Have been away on and off a lot these past few wks so havent been able to update but heres a brief update I'll update more later : Ok so Im 9dpo (I o'ed on Christmas day) and Im having the feeling that this cycle was a bust. Im starting to get my reg endo cramps/pain plus Im getting a headache which I alwasya get this dull annoying headache about 4-5days b4 af. But I guess the headach could be from all the stress Ive been under this cycle.Hmmm I think Im just not going to get my hopes up at all. If Im not preg this cycle I know its going to hit me so hard because my surgery to (possibly) remove my overies is in like 20days and counting. Im so so so so so so so so scared right now

flutterbyejewels

New comment from jules

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:41:09 -0600

yeah no worries. im a catholic, growing up it was church every weekend, prayers before meals and i attended catholic schools. it taught me alot but as a kid you hate going to church "its so boring" lol. i still go but maybe once every now and again for weddings or baptisms. and its nice. so i guess im not a practising catholic any more, and it doesnt help that rich was never bought up with a religion. i have never read the bible, but im sure ide find truth i it. i still want to get my babies baptised, i think my nanna would shoot me if i didnt, lol.

so whats the plan for christmas? we couldnt afford to send gifts this year, so it was a card and a nice photo of us and the "bump" now my sister lives here we will get together for seafood and lots of desserts! YUM. im sure nice cold beers will be on the menu also, but ill stick to my 2 west coast coolers! lol.

jules

New comment from flutterbyejewels

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:38:40 -0600

hey jules, yeah Ive heard of the book "the secret" and have read parts of it but I dont beleive it. I have a much better book its called "the bible" and its based on truth, well i believe it is anyway. Thank you so much for offering the book tho jules it truely is appricated. Im lucky to have friends like you who are willing to help howevr they can. Your a true blessing and an inspiration. ((((((hugs)))))

flutterbyejewels

New comment from jules

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:43:48 -0600

i agree with jennifer flutter, life is to short, we have to make the most of what we have, not concentrate on what we dont have. have you read the book "the secret" i found it very uplifting when i was hitting rock bottom. i can post it to you to borrow if you want.x

jules

New comment from Jennifer Wolf

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 22:11:34 -0600

OMG flutter OMG take it easy woman! I demand you lay on the couch, watch TV and take tons of naps! SLOW DOWN! Life is short you dont want to waste time being stressed out. Things will work out. Have faith hun and dont worry so much! Just relax and take care of yourself!

Jennifer Wolf

New comment from Sar22222

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:30:13 -0600

Try and take it easy and stay hydrated and eat...that's important. Rest and know that it will all work out in the end :)

Sar22222

Flutters rollercoster ttc journey

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 06:43:06 -0500

I have been ill with af since the very first one I got when I was just 11yrs old. They had always been so very painful and heavy for me but ppl would just say I was going thru puberty and it would all settel down in a yr or so. Well a yr or so pased and it didnt settle but actually got worse. Then doctors decided I was just 'putting it on' so I wouldnt have to go to school.

My pain would be so bad that I would be in bed with a hot water bottle and unable to move for like 3 wks out of 4. I missed all of my teenage yrs because of this. When all my friends where out at parties I was sick at home.

At times I ended up in hospital the pain was so bad but a very most I would only be told it was pms and to 'get over it'

Then when I was about 17 I decided enough was enough and went to a different gp who actually believed me. Guess it helped I was actually doubled over in pain and in tears in his surgery. He then referred me to my first gyno who only had to hear my story once b4 saying I was going into hospital and would be having surgery to locate the issue. Within the month I had, had my op and was informed that I had slight endo. This eased my mind, knowing that it wasnt all in my head but there was actually something wrong with me.

I then got tried on a wide range of pills none having any affect. Within the next 2yrs I had af for 14months straight with very heavy bleeding and extreme pain.

They did another op and discovered my endo needed lasering at the same time theY discovered I also had bad pcos. With my right overy being so enlarged it actally almost raptured my appendix, which I had to havge removed to prevent this.

So by the time of my 21st birthday I was being presented with my choices 1. bounce from medication to medication hoping they would eventually help me or 2. have a complete hysterectomy. I refused straight that the 2nd opinion would not even be considered. I had always been the girl who didnt want kids but as soon as I was told it may never happen all I could think about was how I wanted to be a mummy one day. So I started on trying every pill and hormone treatment out there. Still none helped. But I didnt lose hope that my wonder drug was out there somewhere just waiting to be discovered.

I wouldnt accept that endo and pcos would cause infertility as I had gotten preggo at the age of 17 to a guy who raped me daily at school.I ended up losing that baby but took it just as Gods way of helping me get thru the truama of the abuse.

Then Just over 2yrs ago I met a wonderful guy on the internet and within 23 days of us first chatting on the net we had met face to face and fallen madly in love. We began a long distance relationship, as he lived in the city and I lived in the country. Just a few months into our relationship we knew we where soul mates and decided that even tho we lived 5hrs apart we wanted to start trying for a baby and would at the same time plan for me to move out of home and in with him we tried and tried but nothing except a miscarriage at 6wks. I eventually got an appoint to see a new gyno in the city (wher eI had since moved too) about 12months after starting ttc. I walked in and the first thing he said was 'congrats your preg' I was like 'but I cant be I got my period yday' he did a u/s and looked at me with one of those looks you just know is goona be followed by bad news. All I remember after that is him saying 'Im sorry' me breaking down and crying and wishing my bf was with me (but he was at work) and him handing me a script for clomid 50mg and metformin. That was Nov 08 and I wass 10-11wks preg.

I have since discovered that I dont ovulate without the help of medications.And I have also had a PID which I pray I never get again, it was total hell!

We have found out in the last 2months that my now fiancee also has male factor infertiliy with only 20% sluggish sperm out of 30million and %80 inactive. As well as this in the past month on my 4th cycle of clomid I finally got preg but had a chemical almost 3 days afetr getting my bfp hpt. Which I am still dealing with my grief for.

So atm we are on a ttc break for at least 3months while we both try to sought out our fertility issues and lose weight etc as well as deal with our emotions and grief caused by out loses.

But we dont see this as the end. In some strange way it is just the begining. I truelly need to hold on to the hope that someway somehow we will be blessed with a little angel to care for and love as God would want us too.....

I realy fely I had to share my journey thus far. Im not sure why I felt I had to share, maybe its to help me heal or to accept my situation. Im really not sure. Im just folloing my heart/head and hoping that somehow my story will help someone else, even if its just by knowing that your not alone on this ttc journey...

Sending you all tons on ***baby dust***

flutterbyejewels